You are a loser, you should just quit on Medium already!
Am a loser, my mind screams at me every time I open my medium account.
Ever since I was young, I have always wanted to control everything around me and if I fail, it frustrates me because I so much hate the idea of losing. I say to myself, I can’t lose, I shouldn’t, I have to get it right.
How did I lose? What am I missing? It’s always my mind versus me. I always want to be ahead of schedule in my administration work. I would rather leave the office at 10 pm but I have to be at least one day ahead of schedule. I always want to beat every situation because if I don’t, I have lost, and losing is not an option for me.
God, am a proud woman!
My mind torments me with the thoughts of remembering you have no one to call for rescue, so you better get that right! And there are some moments I manage to shake off the thought to the back of my mind but there are days I completely fail.
So this morning I logged into my Medium account and the thought I have been trying to shake off ever since I became a member two weeks ago attacked in full swing. Today is one of those days, I completely failed to shake it off.
My mind started, I told you! I warned you, you didn’t listen! your life is pathetic and so are your real-life stories. Do you think anyone here was going to resonate with you? You are a loser, you should just quit already!
My eyes grew red as the monitor glowed in my face trying to fight the thought and somehow I developed a migraine- Today is a Thursday and thank God am ahead of schedule otherwise it was going to be a disaster at work.
I have now swallowed a pin through this excruciating headache crafting this piece, I have to be a step ahead of my thoughts. Am not a loser, there’s no way am quitting on Medium. These thoughts are not mine. I know my mind, It never gives up, together we always finish what we started.
My mind is going to enjoy this new adventure!
