Unsettled at Mid-30s: 7 Tips to Embracing the Journey of Self-Discovery and Growth

Saranya Selvaraj
4 min readJul 17, 2023

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“As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” — Norman Wisdom

Photo by Jennifer Murray

It is my birthday week. Entering my mid-30s has often brought about a sense of restlessness and uncertainty. It is a phase of life where many individuals find themselves questioning their accomplishments, life choices, and overall sense of fulfillment. This period of transition is not uncommon and can actually be an opportunity for profound self-discovery and personal growth.

In this article, I will explore the concept of feeling unsettled at mid-30s and discuss ways to embrace this stage as a catalyst for positive change (which I am yet to do…).

  1. Navigating the Expectations

By the time we reach our mid-30s, society often expects us to have achieved certain milestones — established careers, stable relationships, or even starting families. However, it is crucial to recognize that everyone’s journey is unique, and societal expectations should not dictate our sense of self-worth. It’s important to remember that life is not a race, and each individual follows their own path, at their own pace. Embracing this mindset allows us to let go of comparison and focus on our own personal growth and fulfillment.

2. Self-Reflection and Personal Assessment

Feeling unsettled in our mid-30s can be an invitation to engage in deep self-reflection and self-assessment. It is an opportune moment to examine our values, passions, and aspirations. Taking the time to understand our core beliefs and what truly brings us joy and fulfillment can provide valuable insights and direction for the future. Reflecting on our accomplishments, strengths, and areas of growth helps us gain a clearer understanding of where we are and where we want to go.

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”— Confucious

3. Embracing Change and Exploration

The mid-30s is an ideal time to embrace change and explore new possibilities. It may involve stepping out of our comfort zones, trying new hobbies or career paths, or even considering further education or travel. Embracing change opens up opportunities for personal and professional growth, allowing us to discover new passions, learn new skills, and expand our horizons. Remember, it is never too late to embark on a new adventure or pursue a different path.

4. Cultivating Self-Compassion

During this phase of uncertainty, it is crucial to cultivate self-compassion. It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions, including self-doubt, disappointment, or even fear. However, it’s important to treat ourselves with kindness and understanding. Acknowledge that feeling unsettled is a normal part of the journey, and we all experience it at some point in our lives. Practicing self-care, seeking support from loved ones, or even engaging in mindfulness or therapy can help foster a sense of self-compassion and resilience.

5. Setting New Goals and Priorities

Photo by Monstera

Feeling unsettled can be an opportunity to reevaluate our goals and priorities. It’s a chance to realign our aspirations with our evolving values and interests. Take the time to set new goals that resonate with your current stage of life and the person you are becoming. Whether it’s pursuing a new career, nurturing relationships, or focusing on personal well-being, setting meaningful goals can bring a sense of purpose and direction.

6. Building a Supportive Network

Surrounding yourself with a supportive network of friends, mentors, or like-minded individuals can be immensely beneficial during this phase of uncertainty. Seek out individuals who inspire you, challenge you, and share similar experiences. Engage in meaningful conversations, exchange ideas, and gain fresh perspectives. Building a support system can provide encouragement, guidance, and reassurance as you navigate through the uncertainties of mid-30s.

7. Embracing Mindfulness and Gratitude

Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can help us stay grounded and appreciate the present moment. Cultivate mindfulness by being fully present in each experience, whether it’s a simple daily routine or a moment of reflection. Expressing gratitude for the things we have and the experiences we’ve had can bring a sense of contentment and perspective. Embracing these practices can help shift our focus from the unsettledness to the richness and beauty of our lives.

Feeling unsettled at mid-30s is a common experience that can lead to profound personal growth and self-discovery. Rather than viewing it as a negative or unsettling phase, embrace it as an opportunity for exploration, reflection, and transformation. Take the time to assess your values, set new goals, and surround yourself with a supportive network. Remember, life is a journey, and the uncertainties of mid-30s can be a gateway to a more authentic and fulfilling existence. Embrace the unknown, trust in your own path, and allow this phase to shape your future with purpose and excitement. Good luck and Enjoy the Journey!

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Saranya Selvaraj
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Scientist by curiosity < Scientist/ blogger/ Life Coach and a full time mom>