Finding Your Tribe During Divorce
I woke to the familiar scratching at the door. I am lucky enough to own the world’s most amazing dog (I know your dog is cool, but sorry, mine gets the prize) — I am her person. She wants to be close to me, but sometimes she finds a closed door between her sweet self and the one she seeks.
I got up and groggily opened the door to ensure I didn’t fully awaken, it wasn’t time to get up. I value my sleep. In that blissful state between sleep and awake, I gently thought to myself, ‘she is counting on me — she’s depending on me.’ To love her, to provide for her, to care for her. Same goes for those sweet souls sleeping down the hall and the other one who is away at school.
That’s a lot of people counting on me — and It’s a lot of pressure. Sometimes it feels like too much.
Right now especially. It is a vulnerable time for me, as I’ve given up my steady paycheck to start my own thing.
It’s hard to know if the choices you make in life are going to be the right choices. Risk is scary.
I remember when I made the decision to divorce. I was so scared. For everything. What would my new life look like? What would this mean for my kids? My friends and other relationships? How would this impact me financially? Would I be able to provide a stable life for myself and my children? Maybe it would just be easier to remain married and go through the motions. People did that all time, right? All the damn time. They say it’s for the sake of the kids, but I’m not sure that’s true. There is a bucking of the status quo and an intense inconvenience when you choose to uncouple a life. Sometimes it’s easier to live in mediocrity than do the hard work of creating change in your situation.
Mediocrity and maintaining the status quo has never really been my thing.
Sometimes when you make the choice to change, the people around you don’t always understand. Sometimes change is lonely — I hate feeling alone and I don’t want others to feel alone if they make the difficult choice to get out of a bad situation. This is why I created the Divorcing Well group. I’m adding members daily and I hope it becomes a resource for support and growth for those who need it.
One reason I could navigate my divorce so successfully was that I had a group of people around me who provided valuable support. Both personally and professionally. Some of those people are still my closest confidants today. This group didn’t make the process easy (divorce is not easy- even if it’s what you want) but having these people in my life made it easier and less lonely.
I’m creating a Dream Team for this Divorcing Well group. Professional people who are in the business of helping others. Attorneys, realtors, therapists, movers, organizers, career counselors, health and wellness instructors, and the like. These people will provide professional opinions alongside my illustrations of personal experience.
Look for their advice and insight in the coming months, as well as information about them on my website.
And, if you have a suggestion to add to the team or you’re interested in becoming a part of the Dream Team yourself, please comment below or send me a message.
Thank you for being a part of Unchained. Here’s to making it great.
Originally published at www.sarastansberry.com.