Crushing Hard For All The Wrong Reasons

As a girl, it’s refreshing to find a guy who is genuinely pleasant to me; it’s almost like making up for the jerks that I meet. Unfortunately for me, I have a superpower when it comes to friendly guys, I develop a crush. Not just any crush, an all consuming, they-keep-me-awake-at-night crush. An inagine-said-guy-saving-me-or-telling-me-he-loves-me crush.

There is, however, a catch to these crushes, they’re all brief. I guess that’s good for me in the long run since I’m fine with staying single for the entirety of my life, but a small part of me wants to know that I could find a man that I can be with. I have a Tinder account, out of the persuasion of my friends at the time, but it’s more out of validation that I am still attractive to the opposite sex. My biography reads, “I’m here to make friends, the hookup culture is overrated” or something like that. That’s how much I care about actually finding a match.

But I digress. For instance, at work, I have crushes on two different guys simply because they’re friendly to me, and they’re cute and four years younger than me, but I know that these crushes won’t go anywhere. And that is the blessing and the curse.

It’s not even that I want to crush on these guys, but I think a little part of me knows that they are genuine guys and because of my shyness, I’ll never have the confidence to say anything to them, so having a crush on them is the next best thing. Also, in a world of guys who just want to have sex, hookup, and have one night stands, these crushes are the ones that I think I would want something with that would last.