Hey Girl. You look young. A lot of what you said reminded me of how I thought/felt when I was young (younger. I’m not ancient). As soon as you mentioned this fella’s interest in philosophy I knew where things were heading. In fact, when I read his initial response about nothing wins my heart, blah blah blah I wasn’t sure if you would be charmed or see right through it. The kind of man you seem to be attracted to (which is the same kind of man *I* used to be attracted to) is the worst there is. He’s “intelligent”, he’s hip, and he claims to be self-aware/a feminist/open-minded/progressive….Have you heard the expression that a truly enlightened person doesn’t go around telling others they’re enlightened? It’s the same deal with “feminist” men. If a guy is spouting off about how progressive he is you’d be wise to run for the hills. Forgive me, I know you weren’t soliciting advice when you wrote this essay, but you’re obviously darling, funny and brilliant and I can’t help but want to share my wisdom, one of the few lovely things about getting old, with you.
You cannot drink alcohol and/or make out with a guy you don’t know. Not because he won’t respect you- who gives a fuck about that-but because alcohol skews your judgement. I’m not going to say anything about the making out as I assume you never would have done that without the alcohol. I may be wrong but that’s what I’m going with. It’s possible that, if you had not been drinking with this guy, you would have gotten a clearer picture of him straightaway. As I was reading your piece it all made PERFECT sense to me. I don’t want this to come across as me saying that you did everything wrong. You certainly did not. I was happy to know that you hadn’t contacted him after the date. The guy was dishonest. The guy is a shmuck. However, it affected you enough that you wrote about it so I assume you’d like to avoid similar situations in the future. If so, read on.
I’ll repeat a couple of things: self-proclaimed feminists and philosophy enthusiasts are to be avoided! Also, drinking alcohol and engaging in intimacy with men you don’t know (and therefore can’t trust) is a bad idea!
How someone dresses, what music they like, what sort of trendy facial hair or man bun they may have, how many tatoos/piercings they do or don’t have….those things are meaningless. Someone who is that concerned with their external image most likely has a lot of INTERNAL stuff that you are going to want to avoid.