How I think about opportunities, relationships and growth

Why I think asking for advice is better than asking for permissions

When should I ask for permission to start a new project, join an exiting project or run with a new idea? When is it more helpful to ask for advice? Which works the best in what context?

What is more likely to get buy-ins, approvals, appreciation and recognition from my my superiors and teams I work with?

When we ask someone if we could do a specific thing, we are implicitly putting the onus of taking the ownership of the said idea, project or change on that person. Instead of owning something and proactively holding ourselves accounting for both success and failure of the said thing, we are making someone else’s life harder. When I ask for a permission to do something, I am also implicitly asking my team or superiors to decide if my idea is good enough for us to pursue. This reflects lack of confidence in my own ideas and also lack of research on whether the new idea aligns well with the goals, projects and priorities of the teams, products, or the company.

When you ask for advice, you are implicitly signaling a couple things. Firstly, you are taking ownership of whatever it is you what to do. This puts the other person in a situation to be able to appreciate your initiative. Secondly, since you are making yourself responsible for the consequences, the other person will feel comfortable giving honest feedback. If the idea is just terrible, no harm is done in shutting it down. If the idea is great, you earn buy-in and get them to participate in your success. Thirdly, by asking for advice, you are inviting constructive criticism. This helps deepen trust in your relationship. You are letting them know that their opinion matters.

How my work transformed from tweeting to working with investment and product teams

I like Twitter. I tweet a lot. Not for building a following though. In fact, I know I lose a lot of followers because I tweet a bit more than what an average user might expect. I tweet for reasons you might not have considered. As of now, I have 1095 followers.

I spoke about how I use Twitter with Matt Hartman, head of investments at betaworks, when I first met him over my Spring break. He said my approach to Twitter reminded him of how Ryan Hoover used it before he foundedProduct Hunt. We also discussed how we had interacted via Anchor, one of his investments, before we met in real life. I had mentioned to him that I would like to work at betaworks. I said I didn’t care what the role was.

Two and a half months later, during my finals week, Matt and his associate reached out to me to see if I was interested in doing a small project.

Guess what that project was?

Yup, it was tweeting. The task was to tweet from botcamp’s account. He asked me to do it not because I knew how to grow a huge following using hacks in short period of time. I clearly suck at growing a following. He likedhow I thought about Twitter. He wanted me to push high quality content. The focus was on content, not on the followers count. While tweeting might seem like a very trivial and easy thing to do, I was expected to devote a good chunk of time to do research for finding relevant content daily.

How I identify opportunities

I have a personal growth function that goes something like this -

Growth or one’s position in their career = Work ethic + Hustle + Luck + Circumstances

The first two components are controllable while last two components aren’t. Those that rose in ranks at companies like Slack and Snapchat got this combination right at the right point in their careers. I know I can’t enlist specific skills on a piece of paper. But, I also know a lot about my work ethic and hustling behavior. I know I will stay up all night to learn to get something done. I know I will hustle my way to get in on projects. I also know I am self-motivated.

Sherly Sandberg has famously said “ If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, get on, don’t ask what seat.”

But, that is easier said than done. Identifying a rocketship in 2016 is extremely hard unless you are some fortune teller. It’s almost always a thing of hindsight. When we have so many people running small businesses and so many people labelling themselves visionary entrepreneurs and starting companies, it is super easy and tempting to think that a company that you like is the next rocketship or that you are a founder who should totally start a company. I have started projects in the past and now I know I am good at execution, not starting a startup. So I wanted to find place that takes care of my execution capabilities and my growth function.

How I spark relationships and meet new people at events

Ever been told to put yourself out there and network with people?

Feel pressured by the whole concept of “Your network is your net worth”?

Do you dislike the word “networking”?

I am an introvert. I am very selective in who I get to know, spend time around, and deepen a relationship with. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s a personality trait that one can work on but cannot completely change.

In order to make the experience of attending events and meeting new people in group settings more rewarding for me, I came up with two goals. Ever since I started working towards these two goals, I haven’t felt the needto meet everyone in the room. I no longer feel the need to shake hands or have small talk with most people. I don’t feel all stressed out for not being able to do what most around me can very easily. These goals are —

Find The One — Whenever I go to an event, I have one specific person in mind whom I definitely want to meet. I already know before-hand what that person does and cares about. I have some topics in mind to build a conversation around. I wouldn’t leave the event until I meet that person and have a conversation that memorable, interesting or helpful for both of us. I set the bar for what’s “good” pretty high. While this is very subjective, it works for me better than rules like “Meet five people”. Such number-based goals don’t motivate me to build relationships.

At least one ad-hoc conversation — My second rule is to have an ad-hoc conversation with someone I don’t know anything about. I obviously try to have more of these, but I feel at ease after having one such conversation. It is true that we should set our goals high so that we can achieve more. But, I believe that applies to situations wherein we are very ambitious. In situations like conferences, where I am very anxious, setting the goal low enough for me to accomplish motivates me to take it up a notch. I know we should step outside of our comfort zones. And setting the goal the way I have for this situation helps me get out of my comfort zone. Once I feel I have hit a pre-defined milestone, I strive to set new milestones instantly and work towards that.