I am a Woman. You are a Trans Woman. And That Distinction Matters.


I understand you feel hurt and silenced. That is awful and no one should feel that way.

Regardless of what any person, movement, event, etc, does it should not have that power to make you feel that way.

I would suggest you own your feelings, as you are giving them power over you.

Your broad stokes of accusations against the Transgender community are very offensive to me.

You have not been silent, I would like a moment to be heard as well.

I am a Transgender Woman. I am 52 years old. I was not able to transition in the 1960s or 70s. People were put in Psych wards and left there for being gay, and there was not even a word for how I felt. I just knew I did not fit in the way my family expected me to.

In addition, I loved my Mom and Dad dearly and did not want to cause them any difficulties with my problems.

I was not taught how to fix a car or build a go cart. I did not get to go places with my Dad, just him and I. He had an older son.

I stayed home and cooked, cleaned up, stayed inside with Mom.

I was raised to be thoughtful and respectful to others and treat them how I would want to be treated.

I am a single Mom whom has raised 3 children and the last one will be out the door soon as well.

I have never, and probably won’t ever refer to another person as a “TERF”. I believe it would be rude.

I need to work out and loose weight, but I won’t go to a gym or pool or any where that has locker rooms. I would not be safe in a mans restroom. I have a size 38D and though I am not “passable”, I am a woman. I do not look like a guy in a dress either. My secondary feminine features are just off a bit.

I would be much more uncomfortable being in a space with cis gender women getting undressed than the women would be. Though I want the right to be in those places, I understand that everyone is not onboard with gender diversity and inclusivity.

I would never, ever allow someone to see below my belt that is not a medical professional.

I understand I don’t fit in, and I get that many of you all believe I am a freak.

I am, however, for the first time in my long life, not miserable. I have found a place where I have peace. Even if the Catholic Pope refers to Transgender people, me, in comparison to being nuclear weapons.

I am afraid to go in every restroom for fear of running for into trans phobes whom would rather kill me than look at me. We see such a huge number of Trans women murdered every year and the number keeps rising. It is more likely I will be murdered than passing in my sleep.

I am also afraid of a policeman coming into the women’s restroom demanding I show proof I am a woman. And the consequences for that vary drastically from state to state.

I get he’d, him’ and sired everywhere I go. I get doors for more men than they get for me, but that is ok. I am living who I am and not hiding pretending to be a boy.

Just so you know, you can play a boys roll and still be treated like an outcast. I tried my best but was just bullied my whole life by women and men.

I lost my good paying job at work because I was discriminated against and they did nothing to address it. I had to transfer out of that job and take a 5 dollar an hour pay cut so I could keep my apartment for my kids to live in.

In terms of your comments, I have never attacked or given death threats to anyone for their personal views. I always approach issues as learning opportunities and chances to create change.

I do know you are wrong on a particular point. Children are not given access to hormones or surgery. WPATH standards will not allow it. Children whom show a gender questioning life consistently and persistently are taken to certified Doctors. After counseling and in depth discussions and consent from parents a hormone BLOCKER is given just to delay puberty until the child is older and can make better informed and thought out decision.

This prevents the Dysphoria that the older Transgender people feel, contributed by social stigma as well.

If the child changes their mind they just stop the blocker.

I do read a great deal from anti Transgender periodicals and blog. I also try to share information with them but always get insulted and belittled out is the discussion. I wanted to see what information they had and why the felt the way they did.

The most common reason for the negative and trite views were refusal to acknowledge authentic peer reviewed and credible information. When I attempted to share me and m story the were rather rude and treated my like an imbecile with no apparent reason.

I have reviewed and read the information they were saying proved their points and beliefs, and each one was either twisted, taken out of context or created but a non credible source. I always check the sourcing of articles, I know there are a great deal of misinterpretations, far stories, and photoshopped images presenting as fact. A great example of this is (Doctor or Professor i am not sure) McHugh. His papers are opinion pieces not even citing verified documents that dispute his findings or are given the chance for peer review which is the gold standard for authenticating findings.

I am by no means insinuating this is what your doing. Your piece is definitely a opinion piece an speaks to the view and feelings of an under considered facet of the situation.

I do ask though, in having cis women spaces only, what spaces would be considered to be, for a term, “Full Access” for all women.

It is no surprise at all the Transgender people like me have real big issues. I know one of mine is a real deficit of self esteem and self worth. So much so that I feel I do not have the authority to inhabit the space my body takes up,and I need to relinquish that space should it ever come in question.

I am early working on this one. I am making very slow progress.

In terms of Transgender spaces only, other than group therapy either once a week or once a month that is all we seem to have. If you know of more physical spaces we have that are Trans gender or Trans gender women only, I would love to have you share them with me.

I do not have and misconceptions that this information will effect, affect or change your views and or feelings, but like I said earlier, a learning situation. Maybe not for you but other whom may red this.

My suggestion for future articles is to stay back from worst case scenarios, they have a tendency to offend, are usually opinionated,a and push people away.

If you really want to start a conversation, please don’t be so argumentative.

Trans Women’s rights, by default will also include women’s rights. This includes the misogyny felt by all of us from men.

I hope you see this as an olive branch, and reaching out to make a connection. I am not speaking is generalities, but is self actuated experiences. Not read or cut and pasted from a web site not vetted.

Thank you for not silencing me.

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