How I became a “Complainer”

Complaining is a gift !

50% discount at a restaurant, getting upgrades in trains and planes, pay your TV box only every other month, negotiating free drinks at the top bar of a hotel, obtaining reimbursement from your insurance… this is my daily routine since I understood that Complaining could save money ! I will explain you how I saved up to 25.000 $ while complaining for 20 years.

What do you admire the most about your wife ? Most of the men generally say that they’re beautiful, they’re sexy, they can handle personal and professional life much better, they take care of the whole family, etc …

When it comes to my wife, of course I admire her for all this skills like every man, but what makes her unique to me is the fact that she is simply a normal super hero ! She doesn’t have a mask or a magic lace or wang … but she realises true miracles ! I can see at this point that I caught your attention, didn’t I ? And I guess you’d like to know what is her super power, don’t you ?

Ah ah, be patient, I will tell you.

I am 42. When I met Mimi, I was 20. We studied together in the little town of Angers, Maine, France. We were just friends at that time. It was a holly time with parties with a bunch of friends. And we enjoyed going to the bars and restaurants several times a week. When the time of paying the bills used to come, it was always smooth and fair, and no one argued thanks to Mimi. She picked up the bill, scrutinized all the items and then shared in fair parts. If someone innocently picked up the Maine lobster, he was good to pay his real part big time ! We also could count on Mimi to negotiate with the bar tender for a free general beer or digestive serving.

But when something went wrong, our Mimi transformed into Super Mimi. If the pizzas were too cooked or the salad was not cleaned properly, or the service was just not friendly, Super Mimi requested to talk to the manager and started the negotiations. She would never give up before obtaining a fair compensation or a major discount.

I must concede that I was a weak consumer before I met Mimi. If I was not satisfied, I would complain in my beard for a while and moved my way and just jump to the next subject. I eventually would not come back to the place of disillusion but even that was not totally sure. I was a fucking docile sheep.

I took me almost 10 years to become a Complainer. 10 years of observation and maturation. Mimi has always been a source of inspiration and she would remain my Complainer mentor forever.

But when I look back to the past I can say that the “tipping point” occurred while observing my wife.

After that, I decided not to be a docile sheep consumer anymore and Mimi coached me and urged me to complain as often the situations deserved it. I cannot say that I ever was shy like the kid who does not dare to ask the vendor for their own candies, but when it came to complaining I just did not know how to handle it.

If we look at the statistics, out of 10 unsatisfied consumers, 7 just give up and do nothing but bitching. If we look now carefully about the 7, 3 just drop it for a matter of time. It’s true to say that Complaining takes time. 2 would like to complain but they just don’t know how to handle it or where to chase for the appropriate contacts. Then the 2 remaining don’t complain because they don’t dare to.

Anyway for the docile sheep, there is always a good reason not to complain about !

But my experience proved that Complaining is bankable. And I am not this kind of pessimistic person who sees the glass half empty. No, people says I am a nice, dynamic and jovial guy who sees the glass half full. Complaining is different from Bitching ! So, when I am not satisfied, I just need to say it. And as I really believe, Complaining is a gift for a company. It is a unique opportunity to apologize, to solve bugs, to improve the client experience, to review some process if needed and at the end retain the customer.

Off course, if the salesperson treats me like a dummy of If they pretend not to admit what’s obvious, then I can loose my temper and be aggressive. My experience shows that this type of situation happens less than 10% of the times.

I don’t want to brag on my successes further to complaining. But I can tell that I was upgraded many times in planes because a steward poured liquids on me or because the sound of the movie screen was bad, I often don’t pay full months for my TV box further to wifi problems or cut-offs. I do not hesitate to request for a discount at the restaurant when the food was not as good as expected, I got a discount at the garage because the car was repaired but the mechanist just didn’t cleaned after the interior, etc … Mimi and I could evaluate at c.a. a 100 bucks a months the revenue generated by our Complaining actions.

Well, things could have remained like this until the end of ages if an event in our family had not occurred three year ago and changed my destiny…

The mother of my step sister (the wife of my brother) and her husband are hard workers with limited revenue. For once in more than 10 years, after saving penny after penny they managed to spoil themselves with the cruise of their life in the Mediterranean see. Everything was perfect ! A week before departure, they visited their travel agency to finalize the transfers and miscellaneous things … It was written in the documents black on white, but very small, that the passengers needed to have a valid ID. For the frequent travelers this type of information is obvious, but for someone who never travelled in his life it is not that obvious ! As you can imagine, Bingo, their IDs were overdue ! They ran to the city council to get new IDs. And off course, even with the off-puttingly high costing fast service, the process would last more than the 4 days remaining. So, they came back to the travel agency to explain the situation and ask to postpone the cruise. And off course the sales conditions mentioned that it was not possible to modify or to cancel the cruise. They tried as much as they could and the final cut was that they would loose the cruise. They had saved money for 10 years and they just had thrown the whole money box down the drain ! They were numbed and cursed. Unfortunately the A-team did not exist anymore to help them. Then, Stephanie, my step sister stumbled across an obvious observation. Why didn’t they ask us for help ? Mimi and I used to share our negotiation victories with the family so If someone could help them, it was us. As a Director of Sales I looked at the sales documents and I had to admit that they were screwed up. But, I was touched by their story and I wanted to do my utmost to help them. I called the travel agency and they confirmed they were very sorry but they could not do anything for them. Then I tried to find a contact at the cruise company. After few calls I managed to talk to an assistant who was very sorry but just couldn’t do anything for me. But before hanging I asked for the name of the director of sales for the French market. The lady accepted to give me the name of the guy. I tried to call him a few times later but I never managed to talk to him ; secretaries did their jobs properly and protected their boss from time consuming assholes ;-) Well, the cruise start was in 2 days and I had to admit that I failed. I was sad and I was thinking of how to tell them the outcome. While thinking I was browsing the website of the cruise company. The beautiful landscapes and the immensity of the see made me dream … when I just noticed that the Headquarter of the cruise company was 3 blocks away from my office. I remember it was just before noon. Then I decided to go in person and tell them right in the eyes that they might be in their right but they also do not have a heart to offer satisfaction to a poor couple who saved years to pick up their cruise ! I remember, I arrived in the office and I asked for the Director of Sales. Since I had not scheduled any appointment the secretary informed me that it will not be possible to meet with the Director. Ok. I told her that I had plenty of time and I would stay in front of her desk as long as necessary until I could talk to the Director of Sales. I imagine that I talked louder than I should have because a guy came out from an office and showed up to see what was going on. I’ll make it short but I made a resume of the situation to the Director of Sales and expressed how inhuman we’ve all been treated by the travel agency and their teams at the cruise line. Well the guy took the document I brought with me and asked for a moment. He wanted to check the file in his system. He reverted to me after a while and he told me that everything was conform to my saying and he was really touched by the story. In less than 30 mn he accepted to interfere personally and granted a 6 months extension.

Few months later, the parents of my step sister enjoyed the vacation of their life with a wonderful cruise on the Mediterranean Sea. They informed me that the Director of Sales of the cruise company upgraded them into a larger cabin and he offered them on top of it an excursion of their choice during the cruise.

This story changed my life. At this exact time I knew that Complaining was always a Gift ! From a personal complainer I moved to a professional Complainer.

I had many experiences in the next years where I put my Complaining talent to several friends and relatives to help them sold out situations of non-satisfaction. I helped them save a lot of money.

Everybody offered me some money back or gifts for the service ; I received a decent watch, some good bottles of whisky and some cash. It’s great even if I cannot make a living as a Complainer.

Anyway I know there is a global problem that need to be solved :

- The majority (70%) of non-satisfied customers do not complain because of a lack of time, method or ability.

- For a company, a complaint is a gift because it offers an opportunity to understand the causes of non-satisfaction, to correct a process, to apologize and to retain the client

I finally dropped my job of Director of Sales in a large company and created my startup of Complainers. I make a living from consulting activities for the moment and for bootstrapping.

As you may understand, to me, Complainers is not a business, it’s a crusade !

My main objectives in the coming months is to create a platform in order to set up a connection between Complainers and Companies. Most of the Complaining situations can be pre-settled business type by business type. Once we’re done, the whole platform will work automatically, and the business will be scalable.

If you need help to complain or if you want to invest in a brand-new business opportunity, do not hesitate to contact me.

Cedric BAREME — SAS1337@protonmail.com