Trowel and Fork

Sometimes sleep deprivation can be the source of pure, indisputable genius. As my sister worked a nightshift, she sent me a photo of the linen closet in her call room.

“Great argument for learning how to spell. I am just glad I don’t get the dirty Lenin,” she texted.

She’s so right. Vladimir Lenin, head of the Bolsheviks, was a brutal dictator. You certainly wouldn’t want to be in a hospital saving lives at 3 a.m. and then be insulted with the dirty version of a mass murderer in a room that already looks a lot like a jail cell.

To me, the unfortunate spelling error sounded a lot like a cocktail. So, we came up with the Dirty Lenin: a cross between a White Russian and a Dirty Martini. A drink, so pioneering, it’s worthy of Sandra Lee’s Cocktail Time. I’m sure, we’ll be ghostwriting cocktail recipes for New York’s Semi-First Lady before we know it.

The Dirty Lenin: A cross between a Dirty Martini and a White Russian Yes, the crowds will go wild!

1 part Kahlúa

1 part vodka

1 part gin

1 part half and half

1 part olive juice

A splash of vermouth in the glass

Dill for garnish

In a cocktail shaker filled with ice, add Kahlúa, vodka, gin, half and half and olive juice. Swirl the vermouth in a chilled martini glass and strain the cocktail into glass. Garnish with a sprig of dill. (Warning: Consume at your own risk.)

Best served cold with a slice of Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa Cake. Please send photos, if you actually make this. If you try it and actually enjoy it, I’ll send you a set of Lenin matryoshka dolls.

Trowel and Fork

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Originally published at on October 23, 2015.

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