5 Steps towards a better relationship with yourself

What if we could look at the relationship we have with our self like we do at our relationships with others?

A personal crisis brought me to this insight, and opened my eyes through forcing me to show myself compassion. I was curious about the process that took place. The following insights might help you to improve your relationship with yourself and work towards self compassion.

Self-Self relationships

In my opinion a relationship with yourself is the same as any other relationship. It can positive or negative, it requires attention and time for upkeep and there are levels of intimacy. In this relationship you are dealing with the voice inside your head. What does the voice say? How often does it speak? If you want to work on building a better relationship with yourself you will need time, discipline and courage.

Step 1 — Listen

Listen. Hear your inner voice. We often deal with emotions by seeking distraction. This causes us to detach from our bodies and minds. You can come back to your mind and body in different ways. Exercising can help, and so does meditation. It is important to note that meditation is used to practice stillness, to reserve time and fully sense your body and hear your inner voice.

Step 2 — Disconnect

This might sound in contradiction to the previous step, but now you need to learn not to connect and react to everything you hear in your thoughts. People often have crazy or simply untrue thoughts, and this is normal. Therefore you need to learn to look at your thoughts with some distance. If you encounter any negativity in your mind it can help to seek support or positive reinforcement to counter it (such as the instagram page @positivelypresent).

Step 3 — Note

Use the technique called ‘noting’ where you lightly touch a thought you do not like and send it on its way. It is important to be gentle with your mind and to not layer frustration or anger onto the presence of negative thoughts.

Step 4 — Act

Listening to what your body and mind tell you. Do they need to sleep? Do they need to move? Act on your body’s needs and more importantly respect its boundaries. Do not force your body or mind to be something they are not. Listen to your body and it will listen to you.

Step 5 — Compassion

Learn to let go of negativity and forgive yourself any past negativity. Accept your shortcomings and approach them with kindness.