Anthony Weiner’s Top Ten Criterion Releases

“I love you guys so much and what you do. I am a huge film buff. Maybe not the most learned cinephile, but I know my way around a Clouzot if you catch my drift. I’ve had a Cahier du Cinema subscription since I was eight years old and always enjoy the calm and sensual experience of watching these moving paintings move. I have a huge collection of Criterion films. A whole wall of them. My wife is a big Netflix subscriber but there really is nothing like opening a plastic case and smelling that Blu Ray of 2 Or 3 Things I Know About Her or Belle De Jour. It was really truly difficult picking a top ten and I’m sure I missed a lot of them. I know I missed a lot of them but these are the movies I really love and fall for every time I see them when I have time to see them again and again.”

  1. 400 Blows

“Kind of a no-brainer, I know, but the film really is a masterpiece from top to bottom. I first saw this movie, this film I’m sorry, at Lincoln Plaza when I was 19 and I remember being so struck by it. There is such universality to something that specific. Paris wasn’t that different from Brooklyn. Accents and language set us apart, and I was always a good student and good kid but I could relate to little Antoine. I think we all relate to Little Antoine watching that tremendous film.”

2. Early Spring

“I love Ozu’s work. I know another no-brainer but it really isn’t a no-brainer. It is Ozu. I know it isn’t that surprising because Ozu is a well regarded master of cinema, but this movie is really marvellous. The way the camera cuts and the way the camera doesn’t move. The storytelling is utterly wondrous. Ryō Ikebe’s character is a revelation. A man stricken with marriage and love for another woman. Ozu captures the white collar experience so well it almost seems too real to be considered fiction.”

3. Eating Raoul

“Farce at its finest. I remember seeing this my freshman year of college. Such a well thought out critique on our society. It illustrates a wonderfully tone deaf and amoral universe full of sex and depravity. I remember laughing my head off at some of the gags and those gags are still fresh and hilarious even today. It is a film I constantly revisit when I have the opportunity. Oh! I actually had the honor, no the privilege of meeting Robert Beltran at Star Trek Las Vegas a couple of years ago. I was dressed up as Chakotay and we took a picture together. It was a blast.”

4. Tiny Furniture

“The Bravery in this film, just the sheer Bravery in this film, is almost too much for me to handle.”

5. The Naked Kiss

“I’m not normally a Samuel Fuller guy, but this movie has this jump and jolt to it. The storytelling is always sensational. I remember seeing this little gem when I was ten staying up late to see Elvira, but I flipped the channel after Elvira segments ended — I can’t remember what the movie was — and saw this wonderfully twisted little number stroll down my television signal. Such an abnormal and pulpy forgotten…I don’t want to say masterpiece but that’s the only word I can think of right at this very moment and masterful is a word I will always use in describing Constance Tower’s immaculately sinful role. Delicious.”

6. Hoop Dreams

“Really awe-inspiring and heartbreaking. I remember when I was seventeen and losing my high school’s annual debating competition. I was gearing up for this debate all year. I was training and debating every night in my room. Day in and day out I would debate. It got out of hand on more than one occasion but I had drive back then. The debate was on “Codes of Conduct”. I consumed the entire Codes of Conduct literature available to me. I saw every counter-argument and every angle Codes of Conduct could be misconstrued and mistreated like I was seeing the strings of the universe unravel in front of my acne-stained cheekbones and waxy constructed frame. There was nothing wrong with Codes of Conduct. There was nothing wrong with Codes of Conduct because that’s why we have Codes of Conduct. My arguments never left my brain. I still remember Emily Bowen’s laugh. I still remember Emily Bowen’s face when I threw up in Round 2 and peed myself in Round 3. These were the worst moments of my life. This movie is like that for me. It is a hard watch.”

7. Bad Timing

“Elliot Spitzer recommended this one to me. Art Garfunkel’s performance is really something to see. It has a certain and very different conception of masculinity inhabiting every thought and action that we rarely see in cinema. Garfunkel shines in front of the camera.”

8. Dead Ringers

“I saw this movie with my wife on our first date. The Forum was having a Cronenberg retrospective and I had an extra ticket. She was in the washroom during most of it but I couldn’t leave my seat. One of Jeremy Iron’s finest performances and one of my favorite Cronenberg films. Videodrome will always be my favorite but Dead Ringers is very special to me because that’s the night I fell in love with my wife and knew — in my heart — I would marry this woman and spend the rest of my days with her. Her eyes shined in the moonlight. Her hair was very pretty. Well I love Shivers a ton too. The Brood is also great. I still have the laser disc for The Brood somewhere. I think I let one of my interns borrow it. The Brood is just wow sometimes. I’m partial to The Fly. I don’t think it holds up.”

9. Playtime

“I love Playtime. This movie makes me wanna have sex with an airplane.”

10. Repulsion

“Catherine Deneuve is such a sponge in this. I could watch her for hours and I must confess that I have. I like watching Deneuve movies back to back. Sometimes I’ll rewatch a Deneuve film seconds after I’m finished with it. Playboy Channel had a Deneuve-a-thon last week. The wife was in Vermont. I locked the doors and shut the windows and turned off the air conditioning. I became something beyond myself. My clothes turned into wet rags of sweat and soggy tissue. They began to melt and leak off my tightly muscular and vengeful body. I became my own mold. I began sweating a green puss out of my pores and out of every orifice. A green puss that turned yellow and then turned red and then started to glow and fade and glow. I could see tiny snakes swimming through it. At least I think they were snakes. They could’ve been worms. My eyes began to pop. My abs began to glisten and cook and brown. My hands became claws. My face started to drop and droop and sag. My jaw became unhinged and became adrift with my skull and skeleton in the sea of flesh that became my visage. My beautiful new flesh. A blob with no beginning or ending or ending or beginning in a constant sexual ecstasy. I opened the door for the pizza man and he turned his eyes into his head as he beheld the New Pervert. Born not of organs but of pure and honest sleaze.”

11. Robocop

“I knew I was missing one! Man these lists are hard!”

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Sasha Makarewicz’s story.