If You are Voting for Jill Stein, Here is What I know About You

  1. I know you are selfish. It’s easy to pretend to care about other people and that somehow protesting the two-party system means you are doing the moral and ethical thing. You think that “what you believe in” matters more than what might happen to other people. Don’t pretend like you care about anyone other than yourself and your image and your brand. Selfishness is the only trait you display in this silly, pointless vote. Just stay home. Don’t bother revealing this ugly trait to the world.
  2. You don’t really care about the environment. Whether you’re Greenpeace activists attacking Hillary Clinton, or you’re shrieking about the TPP, or you’re taping your mouth shut and pretending climate change matters to you, or more likely, you’re pushing fracking to the top of your agenda because that is the only way you can adequately target Hillary Clinton, because she has not 100% opposed fracking the way Bernie Sanders has. Never mind that Bernie Sanders 1) could not get the nomination, 2) could not get elected, 3) could do nothing if elected because his policies are too extreme for the American people, let alone Democrats, let alone Republicans in Congress. No, you don’t care about the environment AND STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU DO. You, like the Nader supporters in 2000, DO NOT CARE ABOUT IT. You are willing to risk giving the presidency to someone who not only believes climate change is a “hoax” but who is ready and willing to drill baby drill, anywhere and everywhere. To “take the oil” from war torn regions and to lift all environmental regulations put in place by Obama. If you knew anything about climate change, if you cared AT ALL about what was happening to the planet you would vote for the only Democrat who can win. If you vote for Jill Stein you are a fraud and no one should ever take anything you say seriously and you should stop telling other people the environment is your number one concern. It is not. Your ego is. Your ego is all that matters because you are so wrapped up in being that person who doesn’t vote for Hillary that you are willing to sacrifice the environment — yes, you are and don’t pretend otherwise. At least admit you are selfish and that your ego is all that matters.
  3. Stop pretending you care about LGBT rights, women’s rights, black lives, Muslim American citizens in jeopardy. Stop pretending you care because you don’t. Your ego stands in the way of your caring. You are attempting to sabotage yet another US election just so that you can posture and peacock and pretend like your flaccid, pointless, embarrassing throw-away vote matters. You are helping the Republicans win and that means you do not care about the above mentioned people. STOP PRETENDING YOU DO. Just admit who you are — part of the establishment as a valuable tool in preventing any kind of real reform. Face it. You would prefer Donald Trump to get elected because then you can bathe in forever victimhood. Then you can whine and grouse about the government because you have no real way of making any kind of real change happen. You’d rather look cool pretending like there’s a chance in hell our government would “ban fracking.” What Hillary Clinton is offering isn’t good enough for purists like you so let’s just bring on Trump. You should admit this about yourself because you’re LYING IF YOU DON’T.
  4. You really don’t care about putting a decent person on the Supreme Court. How else are you going to fill your life with meaning if you don’t have a conservative Supreme Court to blame for everything? God forbid Democrats should mobilize to change the court. Because then what? How will you be cool and edgy with your CSA box and your tats and your pretend-hybrid car and your tiny house and all of the other ways you brand yourself to look like you are the only one who cares when in fact YOU DON’T. You are ruled by a selfish desire to be cool. So guess what that makes you? FOREVER UNCOOL.
  5. You desperately need attention. You desperately need other people to notice you. The last thing you care about is what happens to anyone else. You don’t care about the environment. You don’t care about the future of the already endangered animals. You don’t care about the Supreme Court because all you really care about is yourself. Your coolness matters more than the welfare of others. You know that people pay attention to you when you say you’re voting Jill Stein because it means you’re edgy and not a sheep and not a mainstreamer. You’re the target for Starbucks and American Apparel because you think you’re unique and thus, you’re easily manipulated. If your need for attention trumps your concern about the welfare of others that makes you a narcissist. Good luck with that.