What are the surprising things that the Character Lab staff are grateful for this November? Leave-in conditioner, high school teachers, and yes, even clutter.
If you haven’t yet noticed, it’s November, Thanksgiving is almost here, and chances are someone is going to ask you what you’re grateful for.
For the past three years, my family has joined my partner’s family for something just shy of a 30-person Thanksgiving. Before we get the chance to overeat, we go around the table and listen to each person say what they’re grateful for. If you’ve ever been in this situation, you know that going last, or even being positioned half-way through the circle, means everyone else has already said what you were going to say. Time to think quick!
That’s a little crazy though isn’t it? If we really think about it, there are so many things, from the material to the abstract that we can be grateful for.
My favorite part of Thanksgiving (ok, besides the food), is learning about the not-so-common things that other people experience gratitude for. These are the things that make you think, hey, I never thought of it that way or better yet, I never knew that about you.
So, to satisfy my curiosity, and to give you some examples of what I mean, I asked my colleagues here at Character Lab one question: What is something (or someone) you are grateful for that may surprise other people?
They got me thinking about the key people that have shaped who I am today…
I had the BEST high school English teacher ever…and as fate would have it, I got him twice! In tenth grade, Mr. Carr taught me to write, and in twelfth grade, he taught me to write better. When he retired, recently, from the Cherry Hill Public Schools, the superintendent asked me to make remarks at the last faculty meeting of the year. I asked a few classmates for their reflections, and every single one came through — Mr. Carr had changed all of our lives, not just mine — and together, we made a book of gratitude letters. On the appointed day, I got to stand up and read them aloud to him. I almost got to the end without choking up. But, you know, there are worse things than losing your cool in front of an audience of hundreds of teachers! In fact, in some ways, there’s nothing better.
— Angela Duckworth, Founder & Scientific Director
Music and my HS band director changed my life. Hard to believe if you know me, but, back then, I was a pretty shy, even “nerdy” middle school kid. Yet that all changed the the summer between 8th and 9th grades when my sister told me that the HS band director — Rodester Brandon — needed more students in his summer school music class. She convinced me to sign up and little did I know it would become the most transformative experience…being in the band program developed me in the grittiness to persevere and become first chair, to lead the band as band captain my senior year, to develop lifelong friendships with peers and with my HS band director and mentor, and to be grateful for the impact music had (and still has) on me — it has molded and made me the person I am today.
— Donald Kamentz, Executive Director
And also about the unique bond between siblings…
“I am grateful for my younger brother who always loves me and respects me even though I used to tease and agitate him all the time growing up. One time my friend and I took off his swimming pants when we were in a public pool! The lifeguard asked him if he wanted to call the police… he said no!”
— Bruce Au, Director of Finance and Operations
They reminded me that sometimes you just have to look in your bathroom cabinet…
“I’m very grateful for Mixed Chicks Leave-In Conditioner. I’ve always dreamt of a product that would provide a strong hold without hardening my hair. Mixed Chicks has made my dream come true.”
— Lorenzo Castillo, Educational Content Specialist
And that little things can remind you of how lucky you are in the grand scheme of things…
“My dishwasher. Having lived without a dishwasher for much of my adult life, I do really appreciate the 45–60 minutes of time I get back thanks to my dishwasher. But my appreciation stems not from the fact that my dishwasher helps save time but because it’s a great reminder of how fortunate I am overall. It can be very easy to take for granted any appliance you have, but this machine is really the height of decadence when I think about it: I have a machine in my kitchen whose sole purpose is to clean and sanitize my plates and utensils, like something straight out of a Jetsons episode. What’s more, it is only possible for me to use this futuristic marvel because of the easy access I have to heated running water and electricity. This is nothing short of miraculous when you take into account that hundreds of millions of people don’t have access to safe drinking water and that women and children of families without running water can spend hours each day walking to and from a water source to collect water. So, thank you dishwasher, thank you indoor plumbing, and thank you electricity.”
— Michelle McNamara, Researcher
Or how about that show that just gets you?
“I am grateful for the Simpsons. I loved the Simpsons 20 years ago, but lost touch with my old friends in Springfield over the years. Now that my son is at an age where (at least I think) it’s appropriate to introduce him to the show, I am falling inlove all over again. As a secular person, I don’t have an urtext to which to turn for wisdom — the Simpsons plays the role for me. There is a quote to explain all of life’s challenges, mysteries and opportunities. I find myself quoting the Simpsons to my family, my friends, and at work. They make me laugh. They help explain my world. Just two of my favorites: ‘That’s the problem with being middle class; anybody who really cares will leave you for those that need them more’ and ‘Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.’ ”
— Andrew Sokatch, Director of Research
Sometimes it takes losing it to know just how much it means to you…
“I am grateful for passion. I never realized how much I needed it until it went missing one day. It reminds me I am alive. It is my internal alarm, letting me know that what I am doing is important to me. It is the rhythmic drumbeat to my life. It makes my feet move, my hands clap, and my heart smile. Without it my life would feel empty.”
— Jennifer Charlot, Director of Implementation
And if you’re still searching for something to be grateful about, try reframing the way you look at things…
“I’m grateful for the clutter. I am a minimalist and my husband is a borderline hoarder. Our desks sit side by side at home — mine with clean lines, one notebook, and one pen — and his with an old aluminum oatmeal can jammed with 20 pens, none of which likely work. In my home life, I feel like I am on a constant journey to organize and purge, not to mention clean, wipe up, wipe down, scrub, rinse, and repeat. Lately, I’ve realized that the clutter and mess gives our lives history and texture. It’s evidence that we are here in space and time, living a full life that can get a little messy. Even though my design soul craves a Kinfolk-esque sterile environment (I mean, an all-white bedroom? How incredible would that be, really?) the mess is more warm, satisfying, and authentic. I appreciate the dash of flour left on the counter from the morning pancakes, the shoes left strewn in the entryway after our afternoon walk, and the pile of books that permanently live on our couch, since my kid makes me read each aloud multiple times per day. I’ve come to realize that the clutter is just life well-lived, all around us.”
— Rachel Young, Director of Engagement
“I’m grateful for the New York City Subway. That’s right, the crowded, delay-prone, pricey transit system that many New Yorkers love to complain about. Not me. I’m grateful for the 24 train lines and 469 stations that can efficiently take me from the densest parts of Manhattan to the remote fringes of Queens. Even when there are delays, taking the subway means that my commute doesn’t require driving a car or spending time stuck in traffic. The subway even inspires a vibrant culture of its own: there are subway musicians and subway weddings; subway poetry and poems about the subway . One of my coworkers even believes that riding the subway builds character; now that’s something all New Yorkers can be grateful for.” — Robert Eshleman, Developer
Or simply look up!
“The sky, but more specifically, sunsets and the moon. Even though I dread this time of year for getting darker earlier in the day, I’m grateful that I get to catch the sun setting and the moon shining just about every day. When I’m stuck inside my head, overanalyzing, or overthinking a situation, these are the things that remind me to take a moment and breathe. So I am grateful that there is beauty to be seen in this world every day, and these moments in the sky are a reminder that there is always something bigger than myself.”
— Saskia Op den Bosch, Research Manager (I figured I should ask myself too!)
Even our Canine in Residence has something to be thankful for…
“I am grateful for all foods ever created in the history of the universe, especially peanut butters. And I’m grateful for every squirrel in the world that I can almost catch, but not quite.”
— Penelope Castillo Gray, Canine in Residence
Your turn.
What is something (or someone) you are grateful for that may surprise other people? Let us know in the comments!
Acknowledgements: Thank you to all of my colleagues for indulging me and allowing me to learn just one more wonderful thing about you!