How to elicit a solution out of a negative person?
VISION OF THE FUTURE we are living into is giving us our way of BEING in the world. When we are being negative, our view of the future we are living into looks bad. In this article I talk about one of my approaches in changing this in negative moments.
1. Listen to see their world
I already wrote about listening to their world and how to do that in the article “Kako naslavljati prave probleme, ustvarjati zaupanje in voditi?”.
The core is “Be authentic”, listen authentically.
2. Notice the dead pattern
Dead patterns are expressed in times when a person goes into automatic mode when talking about something, and it just goes on and on. It feels like they can just go on and it’s hard to stop them.
“Our group is being attacked at work. Competing groups are …. and the other day someone did this …. and …”
Another variation of that is when they get a block. They just can’t talk about it. Just saying a word out loud to them seems impossible.
3. Act on the dead pattern in an alive way
To pull the person out of this mode, I try to break the pattern by acting on it in BEING ALIVE.
“What is this? Are you hearing yourself? I know this is part of your life but you are a lot more than this! What’s really going on?”
By BEING someone who is ALIVE you create space for them to step into a better way of being and from there create a new VISION OF THE FUTURE to live into.
4. Create a better future to live into
Once I woke up the person, we start creating a better future to live into by answering the questions:
- What is really important here?
- What do you really want to accomplish?
- How does this look like?