How to have the best breakup

Be with an adult. Be with someone who has a brilliant mind. Be with someone who is understanding and caring and despite all the rage and tears she will release, she will eventually let you go.

Break ups are never easy. They are somewhat like death; you are to cut someone off completely and only their memories will remain. At least at the start. Break ups are like death, except worse because the person is still alive and will go on living without you to witness all their glory, joy, pain and tears.

Break ups should, ideally, lead to complete isolation from the other party at least for awhile. It’s not right to be in constant touch, to update them about your life, to fill them in on your details and to hear about their day when you are no longer together. Eventually yes, once the goggles are off friendship can rekindle but at the start, it shouldn’t be such.

At least not in my book.

But they get nasty. People cling on to their losses harder for it is only natural to not want to let go something so safe and warm. If no steps are taken to avert them, they become borderline emotionally abusive. You may be forced to stay in a broken hourglass, the sand quickly slipping out.

But if both parties involved are understanding and independent, it will be clean. It will hurt, there will be tears but eventually you get to part while keeping your morality.

Most of all, break ups should be honest. You should never hide behind your reasons or throw anything to the front to mask it. Don’t write allegorical Facebook posts demanding a break up and dear God, don’t make a short film to visualise your inability to escape. Please don’t.

Be firm, be understanding, be loving but mostly, be honest.

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