What we tell our kids

We tell our sons to be respectful of women but later that night we down a bottle of whisky and almost murder their mothers. We tell our sons to use condoms when having sex, to be safe not from diseases but rather unwanted pregnancies. We then chastise women that dress in a way that is not aligned to what our preferences are. We breed insecurities in our child, unaware, in our ignorance, for it is not ignorance that rose out of ignorance but rather ignorance for the sake of ignorance. For we never pushed ourselves to seek, to learn and understand.

We give a free pass to our sons to explore sex in high school but would burn down a house if we hear that our daughter are doing the same. When our sons finally do get the chance, they are torn when their partner exhibit sexual tendencies for they have been taught that a woman is not allowed to explore her body. We tease our kids when they cry 11 times in a day, teaching them that crying is effeminate, that “tough boys don’t cry” that when they finally do cry over a broken heart, guilt and shame is embedded within them as they try and deal with the cognitive dissonance that we have bred.

We do not talk about feelings. If there is a mentally ill family member, he is labelled as a “psycho” or “schizo” but the depth of mental disorders are never discussed so when your son grows up and discovers that he has a mental disorder, he will be openly mocked by no one else but his own blood.

Blood is thicker than water.

There’s a phrase in Malay that goes “biar mati anak, jangan mati adat” May the child perish, but never shall our customs.

That is perhaps the most succinct summary of the Asian mentality.

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