Writing as a Channel for My Soul
I have written elsewhere on Medium about the soul. I said,
His soul is the home of his spirit, the heart of his being, the core of his existence. The journey through life is a metaphor for his journey to his soul. This is where the spirituality of existence lies, at the intersection of the journey through life and the journey to the soul. Spirituality is the air he breathes, the thoughts he has, the emotions he feels, and the spirit that fills him. Spirituality is the cause and consequence of his being.
The way I have found to access my soul is through my writing. It has become the channel through which my soul surfaces and connects with my conscious being.
I practice meditation and yoga and find that they give me the peace and the stillness to feel my soul, but they do not allow it to surface. When I write, the active, creative part of my brain is engaged and starts writing. My conscious mind is involved in the act of writing; grammar, style and construction; while my soul introduces the ideas and concepts.
This is not about channelling some remote deity who is speaking through me. I know people who claim to do that; I am sceptical about their claims. This is me speaking, from the depths of my being, from my experience, my existence. But this is a me that does not normally appear.
Why does the soul find it so difficult to speak during the normality of life? Why is it necessary to channel it, and find ways to plumb its depths?
There are two major aspects that I see come into play. The first is the clash between the innate essence I was born with, as opposed to the cultural conditioning I experienced. The second is everyday clash between how I want people to see me with how I want to be.
I was born with a masculine core essence, one that I have spent many years trying to access and bring to the fore. During my early years I experienced the conditioning that everyone goes through in different ways. I felt pushed down and beaten into submission. I learned to be shy and lacking in confidence while being dominating and controlling. I still struggle with balancing this all out, with finding ways to use what I have in a positive way, with trying to be a compassionate human being. I find my writing can bypass all this and delve into what is underneath.
In my day to day life I experience the effects of what family think about me and think about how I should be. I experience the random effects of how people see me. Although I try to ignore all this, I rarely succeed. It is easy to think it is possible to just ignore people and live life, in practice it takes a hard skin to do that.
My writing gives me a place to go on a regular basis that enables me to live a normal life while not denying who I am.
— Photo Credit: Flickr/talimelekalikimaka