…him to tell me what was going on if there was trouble, his response would be, “I probably won’t”. I would tell him, over and over again, for months, that I didn’t want to do the emotional labour of dragging his feelings and needs out of him, but I did it anyway, because that’s what women and femmes are taught to do, because at the end of the day no amount of feminist critique shields us from the overarching expectation that women are here to nurture men. Including at their own expense. Perhaps particularly when it’s at their own expense.
And there’s no denying that women can be sexist, too. The sorry fact that there are many women who still think the man should pay the bill on the first date simply shows that feminism has a long way to go and is helpful for men as well — not that it isn’t needed and women are fine-thank-you.