Don’t let the dog chase you.
The title maybe be repelling to all the dog lovers, including me. How can you get chased by those beautiful and loving beings when all you want to do is squish their fluffy faces and get licked by them? Now that is the only kind of dog we visualise right? But ever wondered about that furious cynic dog that lives inside our brain making things seem gloomy and ripping us off our usual pizzazz. That internal dog is our fear. We hardly ever hear it bark but it’s presence can be felt when suddenly you get weary and unable to unclog your head to motor your pizzazz correctly. That’s the dog that lives inside us and we hardly ever feel the need to tame it.
I have seen a big number of people getting chased by their internal dogs and trying to find peace in talking it out with others, trying to avoid it by ignoring it, keeping themselves utterly busy, tiring their bodies hoping to fall asleep at night. Some of these things do work in calming down but only for a short period. Because the fear inside us does not need ignorance, it needs a stoppage. The strength to look the dog in the eye and make friends with him so that whenever he chases you next time, you stand there knowing how to tame it.
Understanding your dog.
The fear to most people is very basal. It’s either fear of water or heights, butterflies or cockroaches, ghosts or apes. We have linked this word deeply to our bodily preoccupation or physicality. And other than that, we fail to see fear as something internal, like not having completed a project, not getting comfortable when socialising, not finding the motivation to exercise, not being able to write anything when people are around (which I usually face because I fear that my mind is capable to focus on single task at a time, which is untrue because the minute I stop writing, I am the queen of juggling the whole household together at a time.) And all these fears are neither whipped by cockroaches, nor ghosts. They are simply the amount of pressure we take and worry about their outcome in the real world, which again, is a total fallacy — the real world.
Are the people sitting around and talking or judging, the real world ? Even if you fail to put correctly the right words in your speech, are listeners the real world? When you slip on a banana and drop flat on your bum, are the ones who are staring real world?
Well, they are people we live with happily but your real world is inside you. And the sooner you make your insides beautiful, the better this outer world is going to be for you. Once this is done, the continuos pressure to be accepted and liked and being elegant all the time will drop flat on it’s bum with you and you will rise subconsciously as witty and honest.
Dancing with your dog.
Second thing your dog needs is time. The correct time to deal with it matters.
The other day I found my husband sitting awfully quiet with his laptop when I could see his brain was frozen due to their upcoming code-freeze at work. And how amusing and literal a coders’ problems are, gave me strength to ask him out for a walk. We decided to take a quick walk, which I believe was really applaudable on his part to actually get up and come with me when his mind was completely dipped in his code. Luckily, it was raining heavily. That ten minute walk under the umbrella, splashing our feet in water ponds, giggling and laughing as we were the only two enjoying the showers where most people on the road were squishing under a small shop with another twenty behind them. If we think of it, we were being laughed at, but, who cares? That time was only meant for relaxation and people have their own ways. We found ours. After we reached back, something fell off his brain and he could think better. I believe the credit goes to mother nature, and have always believed that if you are closer to nature in any of it’s forms, you are a happier person.
So, his fear of time was taken care off, when all we did was not to worry about it for ten minutes.
Befriend your dog.
The more fearful the job is, the more speeding your response should be instead of sitting still and wondering what to do with it. Quoting Jack Canfield — “Everything you want is on the opposite side of fear” and diligently, I try to remind myself of the opposite side, whenever I face mine. It does take a lot of practice and patience but the results are worth celebrating. The best task is when you are competing against your fear, something you are afraid of, somebody you think is much smarter than you, somewhere you imagine you would never fit in. Because that is when the outcome of failing is evicted from your head and you are just a tiny being, curious in all its contours trying to feed your knowledge ball.
So, this dog we talked about is pretty small, and its agendas are laughable at times but it needs our attention and not our ignorance.
Remember, the next time when your inner dog barks at you, try to think of him as your real dog, squish his face, pat his coat and say — I am tired of running, let’s take a walk!
Love and good health to all.