Raghuram Gullapalli
Nov 7 · 1 min read

This hasn’t been thought through at all, I’m afraid. An abuser is unlikely to take the risk of the probationer deciding one day — enough is enough — and disappearing. And a [robation is one of the easier ways to escape/exit.

If you don’t sort yoursellf out, I’m out — is more likely an attempt at an ultimatum from a victim, who is, otherwise, unable to get the abuser to pay heed to what they may have been asking (either respect for boundaries, or to share responsibility, or not renege on promises, or not run the usual FOG scripts). Especially some victims who have had a history of not being able to express their needs/desires in the face of an overbearing/overwhelming partner.

This may work as coercive control in some cases, where there may be something else in contest or at stake — and whereby the threat of exit alters the state of claims on it.

    Raghuram Gullapalli

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    Management Consultant-at-large | Veteran | Telecommunications Engineer | Theoretical Physicist | MBA