Not A Questionnaire

Are you going to miss your scented body wash?

Your pills prescribed?

Water bottles?

TV shows?

Maybe your fancy car. You will definitely miss your favorite jeans and shoes.

How about your routines? The coffee. The bar. The gym.

Your mobile app device?

Maybe you don’t have children. But you will miss your pets.

The food that you can’t get enough of.

The air conditioning and heating.

Flights to the beach or cruises to the islands.

Golfing every day. Gambling every night.

Who are you?

Do you know yourself?

Do you know what you will miss?

Not when you’re dead.

Now.

Look around.

Who are you? Do your friends know? Have you asked your family? Your co-workers or clients?

Would they know?

Who would notice first if you disappeared? Just left. Without telling a soul or leaving a note. Left everything behind.

Ever thought of doing that?

Where would you go first? And how? Could you?

Do you know how to skin a fish, which berries to eat or how to make a shelter?

What climate would you prefer? Can you take the desert heat or chilling cold?

Can you act like another person if you don’t even know who you are? Can you keep track of lies told? Maybe just tell everyone you’re on vacation. From where? What if your accent doesn’t match?

Sex.

Do you enjoy it? Do you have time? Do you like the body you have? Or do you fake your confidence? Is your partner boring or has it been a long time since you had one?

Do you wear a lot of makeup or make sure you have the right amount of cologne on? Bright teeth. Close shave. Big enough boobs?

How many times a day do you look in a mirror?

Are you a talker? Can you stand long silences? Or are you afraid to speak your mind?

Do you have numerous allergies and medical woes? Do you let everyone know? Or do you bottle it up so as not to bother?

And stay inside. Alone.

And watch the weather on the screen.

Do you smoke?

Do you inject?

Snort?

Sip?

Maybe you’re a health nut who would never.

Maybe you quote movies or are always singing or humming. Reading. Addicted to news.

A foodie.

A nudist.

A work-aholic.

A hot mess.

A nice chap.

An ass. A bitch.

Funny as hell or smart as a whip. Dumb as a rock, or deadly serious.

Have you killed someone?

Have you wanted to? Planned it? Got away with it?

Been near-death? Beaten or shot or stabbed?

Maybe you’ve never been punched or broken a bone.

Religious or agnostic? Do spiritual people make your skin crawl? Maybe political discussion does instead. Or finances. The environment.

Do you have a cause? Do you belong to a group or club?

If so, why? Do they know you? Are you consistent in your character or do you switch to fit the room?

Do you want to know what they think and say about you after you leave? Do you wonder that all of the time? Would you be disappointed they said nothing? That you are not as important as you worry about?

What are you doing later today? Have you done it before? Or has it been a long day already?

Maybe the night has been a neverending wonder of smiles and laughs and kisses and intercourse. Did you enjoy it? Do you know when you’re happy?

Are you stressed about tomorrow? Is it going to be your day off? From what?

Did your team win? Are you drunk?

Do you talk to your parents or siblings? Do they like you? Were you adopted? Or wish you were orphaned?

Maybe you know thyself. And you are happy. And have no wants or needs. Or worries.

And strut through the day with a smile on your face and a song in your head. Can discuss Shakespeare and celebrities with a wry sense of humor and grace, while enjoying a fine wine or martini.

Or some of that or none of that.

But you know yourself. And you, if no one else, are comfortable with. who. you. think. you. are.

Do you?

Does it matter?

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Saul’s story.