We assumed it was self-evident that we were referring to a scholar of the works of the Anglo-Irish, eighteenth-century satirist Jonathan Swift. — Dear Dr. Daisy May, Thank you for your application for the advertised Swift scholar position at the Department of English at UT Austin. Each application has received careful consideration by all members of the search committee, and we are sorry to have to tell you that the committee has decided…

I’m trying a thing where I dig up my old work and put it up online. Here’s a piece I wrote before turning 20, from the vault. A wooden plaque above the mantel in the John Jay lounge is proudly inscribed with gold letters that read “Hold fast on to…

Alas, the V-shaped formation fails to materialize. It looks more like a broken I or maybe an S. Wait. Is that an X? — The most beautiful spectacle is the evening gathering of the Tweeps. In autumn, these blue birds join together in large flocks and gather at the ponds. Here they will spend the night sharing hot takes and retweeting “you’re telling me a shrimp fried this rice?” for the thousandth time. There…