Listening In, Listening Out … Hospicing the Old, Midwifing the New
By Silvia Austerlic
To respond with love and courage, we must first learn the difference between reaction and response — Jack Kornfield
We are living unique, turbulent, quite surreal times. According to Will Keepin’s Principles of Spiritual Leadership, “We are urgently called in action in two distinct capacities: to serve as hospice workers to a dying culture, and to serve as midwives to an emerging culture.” The evolution of consciousness is at stake. Listening in (to oneself) and out (to others) is a vital skill to be nurtured, developed and practiced; and has a critical role in providing guidance, direction and support.
On one hand, the list of “what’s wrong in the world” keeps growing exponentially at global, national, regional, local, and personal levels. Some are climate and environmental disasters — hurricanes, tornados, lightning fires — impacting all life in multidimensional levels. Others — like police brutality, systemic racism, and the growing wealth and health disparities — are the result of human atrocities and social injustices that have been taking place for centuries.
Below the surface, the root cause is to be found in a modern, colonial world system and worldview that took hold at a global scale since the conquest of Abia Yala (the Americas), and stretches from 1492 to the present. Based on exploitation, domination, and inequality produced by intensive globalization, these long-standing patriarchal structures of power and control have articulated multiple forms of domination and exploitation resulting in increasing environmental damage, including climate change, widespread extractivism, extensive conflict and social dislocation, and the overwhelming devastation of the Earth. Coloniality, the darker side of modernity, is based on racial, social, economic, cultural and cognitive hierarchies attributing value to certain groups while devaluing others; and it was enabled by how capitalism became tied with forms of domination and subordination central to maintaining colonial control, first in the Americas, and then elsewhere. (1)
On the other hand, for those who have eyes to see and ears to listen, amidst the civilizational collapse, there is also the potential of something new emerging. Every human being has a piece of the collective puzzle needed to heal the earth and give birth to a more humane, beautiful world, based on the radical recognition of the interconnectedness of all beings.
In his book Designs for the Pluriverse, Radical Interdependence, Autonomy and the Making of the Worlds, Colombian anthropologist Arturo Escobar calls for a politics of transformative change, proposing a different civilizational model than that of patriarchal Western capitalist modernity, based on collaborative and placed-based approaches more deeply attuned to justice and to the Earth. The term Pluriverse stands for a set of all possible universes, a tool for reimagining and reconstructing local worlds. This vision challenges the global consumerist modernism, calling for urgently needed alternatives that foster the emergence and visibility of new individual and collective ways of being, knowing and doing; a type of rationality and set of practices attuned to the relational dimension of life promoting people’s and communities’ creative autonomy, social equity, and well-being, including control over energy and work.
Dying and Emerging from the Inside Out
Death and dying are part of the cycle of life. The old has to die for the new to be born. How are we impacted by this struggle on a daily basis? What is our role in this monumental moment? How can we show up to participate in accompanying what is dying, while also breathing life on and caring for what is being born?
Knowing what to do in these tumultuous times is a tricky proposition. For sure the solution does not entail going back to normal, because in fact the normal was part of the problem! Like Albert Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”
In the midst of so much frantic reactivity, conflictive relationships, misinformation, toxic noise, and confusion, where the old has not completely died, and the new is not fully born, there are vital critical steps we can choose to take. The invitation is to stop the busyness, take a pause to reflect, connect mind and heart, discern about what is working and what is not, and listen to our true deepest needs, desires and dreams.
Spiritual masters and teachers know, and have told humanity for ages, that solutions must be from the inside out, anchored in the individual’s deepest truth. There is inner work to do, so that we can show up for ourselves and our world from a centered, grounded, connected, and resourceful place. What is new now is the urgency, given the gravity and magnitude of the crises presenting new challenges and tasks ahead.
We need to elevate our capacity to transition between the old and the new, by recognizing the ways in which we have participated in “the old” (by taking for granted privilege, enacting racist oppressive roles, internalizing oppression, or giving away our power), and envisioning new ways to show up in the world from a more caring, fulfilling, life-giving, life-affirming place. Listening in and out becomes a crucial practice in both accompanying the dying of the old and the emergence of the new.
Hospicing the Old
Even though there is an urgency to figure out alternatives, the task of caringly accompanying the process of what is dying, is crucial as well. Being present with what is dying could be scary, but as hospice workers know, this is sacred work. In this context, listening in helps us center, ground and resource ourselves — a vital aspect of our self-care and resilience. Listening out is about providing compassionate healing presence — an essential skill at the heart of service.
We need to be intentional about identifying what is dying, what we want to leave behind, in the outside — such as unfair systems or toxic relationships. There are also internal patterns and aspects of ourselves that have been part of the problem — internalized patterns of superiority or inferiority, ways in which we have been playing small or behaving in inauthentic ways, or giving away our power for fear of being who we truly are.
In this sense, hospicing would entail sitting with a system in decline, learning from its history, offering palliative care, seeing oneself in that which is dying, attending to the integrity of the process, dealing with tantrums, incontinence, anger and hopelessness, “cleaning up,” and clearing the space for something new. This is unlikely to be a glamorous process; it will entail many frustrations, an uncertain timeline, and unforeseeable outcomes without guarantees … Experimenting with alternatives is important, not for generating prescribed solutions, but rather as a means to learn the successes and failures as we go … These teachings are indispensable for exploring the depths of the existing system, and for learning to discern between its poisons and its medicines. (3)
Midwifing the New
Making room for the new that wants to emerge requires that we become students of the unknown and cultivate a beginner’s mind, the capacity to be present with what is emerging. Like Rob Brezny said,
“I don’t know” is an unparalleled source of power, a declaration of independence from the pressure to have an opinion about every single subject. It’s fun to say. Try it: “I don’t know.” Let go of the drive to have it all figured out: “I don’t know.” Proclaim the only truth you can be totally sure of: “I don’t know.” Empty your mind and lift your heart: “I don’t know.” Use it as a battle cry, a joyous affirmation of your oneness with the Great Mystery: “I don’t know.” (4)
This not-knowing is not ignorance, but a deeper intelligence, an invitation to become present to ourselves and the present moment, to listen to the moment and to the whispers within.
Listening in becomes a sacred somatic practice, of switching from a mode of doing on the outside, to being with oneself in the here and now, and noticing what is present in our bodies, minds, and hearts. This process becomes a doorway to a calmer, more grounded state of being. There are answers to be found, insights to be discovered, and truths to be revealed about our true nature, about parts of us that have fulfilled their purpose and whose time to die has come, and about our potential to contribute to the new.
World-Making Skills
Nobody knows whether humanity will make it to the end of the dark tunnel in which we find ourselves in this age. At best, we are called to co-create “a future of plural and concrete possibilities, utopian and realist at one time, and constructed in the present by means of activities of care.”(5) To care is love in action, respectful and patient of what is, in tune and expectant of the highest and best that it could be.
In order to do this, I’ve coined three world-making skills (6), which don’t have to do with inventing the new from scratch but rather with learning to see ourselves and the world anew.
Storytelling is the oldest form of teaching and the basic vehicle for the transmission of culture from one generation to the next. Stories are the currency of human growth. Stories sustain and shape our emotional attitude, provide us with life purposes, and energize our everyday acts, giving life meaning and momentum.
Dialogue is about thinking together, to share visions, to listen deeply, and to inquire on what is important to us. Dialogue is about expanding our capacity for attention, awareness and learning with and from each other. It is about exploring the frontiers of what it means to be human, in relationship to each other and our world.
Networking and Collaboration: The internet and social media have created exciting new ways to work and live together. The model of the network is based on the acknowledgement of the importance of thinking, sharing, and collaborating for both an individual and the society in which they live. “If you want to go fast, go alone; but if you want to go far, go together,” goes a favorite African proverb, implying that leadership is a collective process that can catalyze the power of networks to create social change.
We can navigate this moment in whatever way we choose to be and act. The most basic and radical power is choosing what attitudes, thoughts and emotions we want to nurture, and where we want our attention to rest. Who do I choose to be at this time? How do I choose to show up? In what ways can I bring what is the highest healing potential to blossom in the world?
References
(1) Decolonizing the Mind with Epistemologies of the South. Fernando Leiva, Santa Cruz, 2016
(2) Designs for the Pluriverse. Radical Interdepencence, Autonomy, and the Making of the Worlds. Arturo Escobar. Duke University Press, Durham and London, 2017
(3) Mapping interpretations of decolonization in the context of higher education. Vanessa de Oliveira Andreotti; Sharon Stein; Cash Ahenakew; Dallas Hunt; University of British Columbia. Decolonization: Indigeneity, Education & Society Vol. 4, №1, 2015, pp. 21–40.
(4) Daily PEACE Quote offered by Living Compassion www.LivingCompassion.org
(5) Public Sphere and Epistemologies of the South. Boaventura de Sousa Santos. Africa Development, Vol. XXXVII, №1, 2012, Council for the Development of Social Science Research in Africa, 2012 pp. 43–67
(6) An Online Design Journey of Self-Discovery, Imagination, and Creativity — http://silvia-austerlic.com/wmskills.htm
Silvia Austerlic is an intercultural facilitator, educator and consultant at Senti-Pensante Connections www.senti-pensante.com whose mission is to build bridges between inner work and social justice, in service of personal transformation, collective action and social change. Contact Silvia at silvia@cruzio.com.
As part of The Center for World Networking Monday Night Events, please join me at El Jardín de la Escucha Healing Justice Listening Circle on Monday November the 9th at 7:30pm (Pacific Time). In these times of extreme uncertainty, adversity, and new possibilities, this circle will offer a safe and brave space for participants to engage in self-reflection, bearing witness and sharing authentically what is in our hearts and minds, while helping to focus intention and energy on our unique experiences, values of care, and compassionate action. This online event will be accesible from the CFWN website www.cfwn.org. $5–15 suggested donation.