A List Of Things I’ll Never Do Again

Inspired by: The Writing Prompt I Stumbled Upon

Something you must know before reading: I am a very dumb person at times. (:

  • Spraying hair spray in my mouth (thinking it would make my breath smell better, I was preparing for a “date”) -I was five.
  • Showing my friends a “video” I found on the ground in my mom’s room. (It was a pornography) -I was nine.
  • Leaving my duct tape in hands reach of my little brother. (He ripped off his eyebrows) -Last year
  • Freestyle my baking. (When starting I told myself it was going to be delicious, when done I told my mom it was art) -not too long ago.
  • Leave my eyeliner in hands reach of my little brother. (My bald cat had eyebrows the next morning.) -Again, not too long ago.
  • Introduce my boyfriend to my WAY hotter cousin. (NEVER, EVER DOING THAT AGAIN!) -seriously fuck that.
  • Putting cup of noodles in the microwave. (without water) -I was eight
  • Introducing my hairy cat, to my not hairy cat. (One second they were hissing at each other so I picked the hairy cat up, and next thing I know I have cat shit all over my leg.) -disgusting.
  • Asking my friends how to put in a tampon for the first time. (They told me to just ‘put it in!’ so I did, plastic and all. oops.) -A few years ago
  • Asking my dad to go to the store and get me pads. (I am NOT that big of a size.) -they were like diapers.
  • Introducing my mom and my boyfriend of two weeks to each other. (Never saw him again.) -Nice

Anyways, I hope this short list made you laugh. It’s ALL TRUE. And ALL EMBARRASSING.

~Vannah