I’ve never been good at keeping a record of my life.
Diaries were always thrown out or abandoned after two or three tries.
There’s a quote from The Office (US) finale that has stuck with me over the years. In the episode, Phyllis Vance says, “I worked for a paper company all these years and never wrote anything down.”
I am a filmmaker who has made an earnest attempt to forget as much of my past as possible. It has often times been cringe-worthy or painful to experience all over again.
Perhaps for the first time in my life, I feel comfortable recording the present with the knowledge that it immediately becomes the past. That’s largely due to the process of writing my TED Talk — appropriately titled “The rom-com that saved my life” — and making this documentary, Chasing Chasing Amy. Both endeavors have opened me up in ways I thought were forever closed off.
There is also a deep fear that recording my own history will only induce cringe-worthy results.
I can’t help but think of the movie Eighth Grade. Despite not having seen it yet — don’t give me shit, it’s on my list — I’ve heard director Bo Burnham speak about how he would witness teenagers online trying to speak about their experiences with the maturity and viewpoint of adults, as opposed to just being themselves. Reading old diaries reflected that, hence why they were always thrown out.
Nowadays, I feel fairly confident in the ability to authentically be myself. Maybe blogging will work out this time, because I no longer fear like I’m running from my truths — like being queer and gender non-conforming.
There’s also another fear that my experiences won’t be futureproofed.
Culture changes over time. There’s no fucking way that my ideas in 2019 will be received the same way 100 years from now, let alone 5. Let me just say I intend to write nothing on here with malice and that I hope readers of this blog will give me the benefit of the doubt. I just want to talk about my experiences navigating the world, making movies, and being extremely passionate about specific topics.
And I’ll probably talk about gay stuff, too.
I also wanted to have content more publicly available. My films can take years to make. A lot of new content is exclusively available on my Patreon account. At the moment, my podcasts are still in development. This can be accessible to everybody immediately.
So, hello, new readers. Prepare to hear me talk endlessly about movies I loved, the films I make, and whatever else comes across my mind. Thanks for spending some virtual time with me.
Let’s see how this goes.
Savannah Rodgers is an American narrative and documentary filmmaker, TED Resident, podcaster, film festival programmer, and public speaker. She is the director of Chasing Chasing Amy, a feature documentary examining the cultural impact on Chasing Amy (1997) on her life versus the greater LGBTQ+ community. In 2018, she gave a TED Talk on the subject. Her work has been featured at Academy-Award qualifying film festivals such as Slamdance and the Cleveland International Film Festival. Her short film, Queen for a Day (2019), was a Finalist at the American Pavilion Emerging Filmmaker Showcase at the Cannes Film Festival. Savannah was granted the Spirit Award by Kansas City Women in Film & TV in 2018. You can support her work on Patreon.