Endometriosis can be a very lonely disease. Most of the time it feels like you are the only one fighting this disease I am here to tell you that you are not the only one. I have heard so many horror stories of patients being misdiagnosed and mistreated and my story is not much different. I have had stomach pain since I was a teenager. I lost jobs for calling in because I was in too much pain to go to work. I did not even know a disease like this existed until I was diagnosed with endo. I want to share a little bit of my life in the hope that it might help someone and that maybe it will open some eyes.

I was diagnosed by being taken to the hospital by my boss at the time. That was the last day I worked. I had been in pain for a very long time and it had been getting worse. I grew up on tough love so it took me a long time to decide that something was definitely wrong and I needed help. I was given an ultrasound in emergency and the doctors found a 9cm x 5cm cyst on my left ovary. After waiting several months for surgery and spending that whole time in pain the doctor removed the cyst but left my pitiful floating, ovary. Within three months the cyst had grown back to 11cm x 9cm. By the time I went for my second surgery it had been seven months since my first surgery and the cyst was 13cm x 10cm. Unfortunately my endo had progressed from a stage 1 to a stage 3/4. The surgery lasted almost five hours and the endo was all over the place. I had some treatment but I am in pain almost every single day. I know all about pain killers.

Here is where some of you might be thinking that I could try this or do this and I would feel so much better. This is where I am here to tell you that no sick person appreciates your helpful advice or your judgements. As a sick person some days it takes a lot to just get out of bed and some days that's not because I am in pain. One of the biggest side effects of endo is depression. And girl if you have endo I feel you.

Just a few years ago I received my journeyman Carpenter red seal. I am extremely proud of my ticket. I worked very hard for ten years to earn that ticket. I earned a great income. I made great friends and worked in a man's world. I stood up for myself and was brutally tough. I was a form worker working at heights, climbing and working with the crane. I loved to climb and work outside. Now I feel like a failure and it's really hard not too. I live off the generosity of my friends and family. I hate it. 
Though I appreciate all the things people do and have done for me it's tough to not feel indebted to those people. Maybe I am prideful and maybe it was the way I was raised but I miss my independence. Another thing that happens when you get sick is that some people leave your life. Most of the time it's just casual friends and it's not that big of a deal but some of them are people you care deeply for. I can not explain why,but it does happen and it always hurts. Clichés start to make sense, it sucks. It's really hard to not feel isolated when your world is as big as your bedroom.

The best advice I was ever given was this; take every day one day at a time and make it count. Living in the moment is the best advice I can give you dear reader. Maybe you are in so much pain you can't have a conversation about what's for dinner or you are lying awake because you can't sleep but you can get through this. I know because I am getting through this too. Make every day count, work towards a goal and try to learn something new everyday. I am the queen of hobbies and crafts and it helps me to create. I am trying to get to a point where I can sell my crafts but it takes time and money. I know I will get there someday. You will too.

Thank you for reading. If you liked this feel free to share it. If this touches one person's life it will have been worth it.