Save us Bacon

LETTER FROM FOUNDERS

Hello Kickstarter,

A small town in Alberta, Canada just passed the law from the 1984 motion-picture “footloose,” banning music in public, public gatherings, swearing, and instituting curfews. We think that’s silly, because it’s 2015 and Taber, Alberta is a real place, not the setting of a charming nineteen eighties dance-rock-themed coming of age story. Also, we’re pretty sure the law goes against the Canadian Charter of rights and freedoms, but we’re not lawyers and we’re certainly not gonna google it.

That small town from footloose needed a hero. They needed Kevin Bacon, in a tank top.

Mr. Bacon, the people of Taber, Alberta need a hero more than ever. Kickstarter, let’s take this way too far.

Help us host a raucous dance party/protest against an embarrassing, archaic, vaguely worded law passed by an out of touch town-council — held of course, just outside of Taber. Help us bring a big city kid to a small town who knows he has to win.

You might be asking: Why would a dance cost this much? Because star power isn’t cheap, and what the hell are we even doing if Kevin Bacon isn’t going to be there?

If we hit our goal, we’ll have the funds necessary to reach out to Kevin Bacon and have his people even entertain the idea of having him show up. Can we guarantee he’ll attend? Legally no, but maybe Kenny Loggins is available. And if we don’t reach our goal, we still slung a little mud at a law that, regardless of good intentions, is an archaic, clumsily written contradiction of Canadian rights and freedoms

Thank you Kickstarter. Yes we’re serious.

Well no, this is satire, but we will do this if the money shows up.

Bylaws: Taber Alberta Community Standards Bylaw 4–2015

Media: Google News Feed