How to make a DECISION and STAND BY it — 11 things to keep in MIND

We all have to make decisions at some point in our lives. From opting streams in school to choosing a college, to giving a commitment to our loved one, to getting married, having or not having kids, from applying for a job to quitting it or calling it off our relationship. Some go right and some give us a lesson. Some keep creating doubts in our mind, some become a reason for our smile. But decision making is easier said than done.

I left home three years ago. I had been trying to clear an All India competitive exam for so long and at last, cleared it in the 4th attempt. I had set the picture of the above building where I wanted to work, as a wallpaper on my computer at home and at the workplace. I was on cloud number nine when I had come to know that I was about to live my dream. Then I left home and landed into the National capital which has a population of around 17 million (as per census data of 2011) from a city that can be found at number one spot while searching for the least populated city of India.

On the very first day of my job in the new city, while walking down the road alongside my office building, I wasn’t elated. There was something that I was missing. The building that was my dream to be in, that used to give me goosebumps whenever I turn the computer on, wasn’t giving me the same vibrations. I could feel a little heartache. I was missing my family that day.

I left my family to chase my dream. Although they were very supportive and it isn’t that I took the decision of coming to Delhi in haste. But somewhere in my heart, there was a regret that kept nudging me with a question, “Had I taken a wrong decision? What’s the use of a dream if it isn’t cherished with my own people? There were a lot of things that were dazzling me.

It happens with everybody. Whenever we take any steps, doubts about its success also piled up. So to help in decision making a bit easier, here I am sharing some points that may be useful in analyzing any decision for coming to a conclusion whether it’s good or bad, whether we should go ahead or not, whether we should regret it later or not:

1. Prepare a list of challenges before committing to a decision

I was in a dilemma because I was not aware of the challenges that I had to face, before leaving my home. We can only solve a question in the examination, that we have practiced at home, there is no way we can attempt a new mathematical equation without prior doing at home. Once a question comes out of the blue, we get blank. The same is with decision making. While taking a call on something, we only imagine the positive output and the joy of accomplishing the task. But we need to make a list of challenges that we may face once we get committed. A way forward to every hurdle need to be found. This will prove handy when we find ourselves in the storm of doubts and it will help in pacifying it then.

2. Be patient initially:

It’s natural that whenever we are into an atmosphere that is slightly different from what we are used to, we start feeling suffocated and our mind becomes unstable. It always takes time to adjust but that is the time when our panic mode gets activated. The same was perhaps happening to me. I started thinking about the past and started regretting the moment when I took the decision to quit my earlier job that I was doing in my hometown only. I could not believe in the process of chasing my goal, eventually going back home would become the ultimate goal.

Even if we all want you here, you don’t belong until you decide you do. -Stephenie Meyer, The Host

Every new thing throws us a challenge, which our mind doesn’t habitual of. It’s ok to feel out of the world initially, but we need to give it some time. Things seem better once we become familiar with the new place, role or situation.

3. Be firm on the decision:

Even after spending more than six months in the new city, my mind and heart were continuously fighting with doubts and regrets. I was looking for an answer whether I had done right or not. I shared my thoughts and dilemma with my ex-boss who had been more like a mentor and father figure than a boss. He advised me not to relook the chapter that was already closed. If I had taken a decision to do something more with my life, than I need to stay firm on it, he further added. “If you won’t stand by your decision, the decision won’t stand by you either”.

Think a hundred times before you take a decision, but once that decision is taken, stand by it as one man. -Muhammad Ali Jinnah

4. Seek advice from selective people

We all are very different from one another. Even God has not made us identical. Like our fingertips and retina, even circumstances, situations, approaches are not identical and everyone has his own thought process. But once we are in any doubt, we seek advice from our near and dear ones. Most of the time, the pieces of advice we get are not useful. To get a bit of appropriate advice, look for someone who is, or once was, in a similar kind of situation. In my case, I sought advice from my ex-boss. He was also living away from his family and I thought he might be in a better position to tell what he used to think earlier and what he thought then. His advice was useful and I could make up my mind.

5. Do not take a decision in any haste

One of my friends was working in a well reputed MNC. He was though not happy with the salary but was very satisfied with the work environment. He wasn’t even thinking to switch. One day, he indulged in a fight with his manager and some heat moments exchanged between the two. My friend, out of anger, decided to quit the company and he left the job without even serving the notice period. Then it took the next 6 months to get him into another job with an even lesser salary. I had seen him, during troubled times, asking, if not begging, everybody to help him in getting a job. I had seen him cursing himself and the moment in which he took the decision to leave his former job. He took a decision bluntly, without giving it a second thought.

6. Keep family in confidence.

Since our family is most close to us. Our family is the one who actually cares about us and always remain behind us in our ups and downs. Any decision, no matter how personal it may be, eventually affects our family too. We need to bring them in confidence and seek their support before opting for any path-breaking decision.

7. Check the balance

We should weigh every single benefit against the disadvantage that the decision may attract. I personally make a list of pros and cons of the decision and compare which side is stronger and then I act accordingly.

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing. — Theodore Roosevelt

8. Plan B

We must have an alternative ready, in case, the things we planned, do not go our way. There should always be a Plan B.

Sometimes, making the wrong choice is better than making no choice. You have the courage to go forward, that is rare. A person who stands at the fork, unable to pick, will never get anywhere. — Terry Goodkind, Wizard’s First Rule

9. Towards ultimate AIM

I have set the aim of my life and I continue doing one thing or the other to move an inch closer to attain it. Before taking any decision, a life-changing one, I always ask this to myself, whether this will prove helpful in achieving the ultimate aim of my life. I try to do this for ensuring, one, I am not diverted from my focus and second, how the decision under consideration will help me in moving closer to my ultimate aim. It is easier to take any decision that may sound a small today but that has the potential to pay dividends later on. Whenever a doubt arises, later on, I keep letting know my mind, the objective and purpose of the decision and how it will be helpful in achieving my aim of life.

10. Avoid unnecessary advice

No matter how many times we keep telling ourselves that we don’t care what others say, people’s talk doesn’t affect us, but the truth is, every single word that passes our ears, leaves an effect on us. We do get affected, we do get influenced, we do get hurt when things are not going in our way and someone from the outside raises fingers on it.

Just like listing all the queries and doubts for our mind, I always keep ready a list of doubts and unnecessary pieces of advice along with its solutions that people may deliver to me, even without calling for it. The thing is if we do not keep it ready in advance there are more chances to get affected get influenced by their advice. If we keep ready every single answer, we may nullify the unwanted doubts.

People will always have opinions about your decision because they’re not courageous enough to take action on their opinion. — Steve Maraboli

11.Focus on process than the outcome

The grass is always greener on the other side. It’s human psychology. We always crave what we don’t have and become ready to do anything to attain it. Once we are done, we start looking back and compare the two results.

We judge our decision by its outcome and not with the process. If my friend would have managed to get a job in a better company or a higher package, then no one would have raised fingers on him, he even might not have regretted. But once the outcome isn’t in favor, we start the blame game. Along with the outcome, we must focus on the process. It is as important as the outcome itself. The way of implementation will also decide the fate of our future decision. If our basics are intact, more often than not, we will succeed in achieving the ultimate motive of our decision.

Thank you for reading :)