I totally understand that terrible wrestling deliberation between staying and going. Sometimes the right choice is not clear cut, or you try and force a path that you want but God doesn’t — and then suddenly life becomes hell and you have to step back and say “okay, God, I need you, this isn’t working.” And it is especially poignant if you are in a job or situation that is not treating you fairly, and you are faced with the question of what does it mean to “end well.” A few months ago I was in a place where I was ready to quit my job in violent fury, raging against what I saw as a great injustice against me — but I could hear God telling me that was not right, and so I waited, and things got better.

Heading out into the unknown is equal parts thrilling and terrifying. I’ve been in China for over a year now, and I’ve had some of the worst moments of my life so here, but also some of the most rewarding. I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.

Good luck with everything! Austin is a cool town — my brother just got a job with Indeed over there.