I have the fear of closed spaces.
However, I do like empty spaces. They are liberating. I literally can't imagine not having time alone or not having time for silence around me, most times. I like good friends and they are few. I know people who are very scared of sharks and deep ocean\water.
I also know people who are scared of heights and looking down a terrific slope. The interesting part is that I have an obsession with heights even if I am scared of exploring an adventurous skydive.
I want to swim with big fish and have an exciting ocean holiday tattooed somewhere forever in my mind. I think that I am fascinated by them as much as I am scared of them. …
Maybe the kind of home we're looking for is not the place or in a person, you know. Maybe we just want to find ourselves because we have lost track of who we are in the process of becoming acceptable to the eyes of everyone. That is the hardest part of being lost.
There's also something beautiful and magical about sharing your thoughts with somebody. After all, that's one of the best things we could ever experience in life, to share parts of you to somebody, who waits and listens.
Something has shifted, subtly, in the last few months. Just as we have become more mindful of diet, fitness, relationships, and safety, we have become more mindful of the way we view the world. No longer can we behave at our will or transport ourselves to faraway places like we do on a holiday. …
How would it feel to be openly yourself? To say no when a "yes" doesn't serve you? To be in a situation where nothing can bind my greatest desire. To fully express myself.
Every time I smile at someone, every time I create something, whether it's fanfic or vent art, every time I listen to someone, every time I make someone laugh, every time I do someone a favor, every time I help someone out, every time I speak up, every time I express myself and let others express themselves, every time I take care of my loved ones, every time I am kind to strangers. It may just be little things - but little things add up in the long run and it's good that I am here. …
And this is what life is about, no matter if we rain down, the important thing is to always keep smiling.
How I appreciate the little things that never cease to hold me together.
The slight breeze pushing the window, the sound of raindrops sweeping my balcony floor, how everything seems fresh, greener and filled with life, those starry nights which no more show and the sunlight that barely manages to touch me during the day, the smell of books and my dream of laying on a grass field to an open sky, dancing with myself to my favourite song, flipping through letters and postcards, the moving tree branches, of how they remind me of swaying lightly through the rough times, novels that bring butterflies to my belly, hugs, cuddles, laughter and remembering all my magnificent disasters. …
I read in books often about emotional displays, how it hurts at night and apparently howling into your bed at 2 am is the idyllic alternative to being heartbroken.
But see, sometimes on an ordinary morning… the shot of dusty sunlight, the humid air and tea invites you at the start of day and you are standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up, errands lined up, endless meetings that cease to bring value to relationships, you miss purpose and promise and you miss everything so much…you don’t know what to do with all that sadness and nightmares…
You make promises and keep secrets of others, you can read their faces and wish to let people know how much you want to be the part of them, but you just stand there, pretend and stay hidden from all, along.
Very soon you push it away…until the thoughts visit you again in the evening while you sit amongst a pile of clothes to be folded or take a ride to the neighbourhood stylist, to fix your lovely hair.
It follows you everywhere.. …
She stood there – the first time seeing the beauty of what she had been pushing through, blindly searching for the path to the top.
The clouds finally thinned and sunlight warmed her tired bones, while the memories of all these hard times started slipping.
How can one know how steep the slope actually feels before walking?
How can one know how far you need to go when the mountain is half covered in clouds?
How can one know what will happen one the way up? Who you will loose and what will leave you doubting?
And if you finally reach the top how will you decide to continue?
And then a voice speaks to me in a faint impression “Listen to me, my dear”. …
I spent a considerable number of years, living in the past, worrying about something that happened, or in the future worrying about what’s yet to come.
All the while, wasting the present moment, the one I actually have some control over. I have often wondered how different life would be now, if I had been more mindful and less judgemental.
What if I had appreciated every moment of my life by the minute. Organically speaking, that rarely happens, you see. Unless we have a terrific insight and the presence of mind, to logically transport ourselves through reality and common sense.
I have spent a considerable part of my life, comparing myself to other people. At every stage of my life, at every milestone I accomplished, there was someone who always seemed like competition. My paths and timelines were different and set up at a non linear pace, yet someone accomplishing a milestone before me, gave me a fear of being left behind. Someone else finding success before me, made me doubt my own accomplishments. …
Sometimes I’ve got this strange feeling
That is hard to describe.
I can’t set it free,
I don’t have the keys to its lock,
I’m stuck with it.
Until it goes to sleep,
Waiting for the perfect moment,
To wake up again.
When I was about to finish high school, I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life, what I was going to study, or if I even wanted to leave the city for an adventure.
I started to have a lot of doubts and felt overwhelmed by the idea that I was going to be rejected, that I didn’t have enough knowledge, and more importantly, that I didn’t know who I was.
I would overthink a lot, and eventually reached a point where I isolated myself from everyone and everything.
Worry makes us do funny things. We might be tempted to keep doing more of what we’ve been doing, hoping that this time it will be different. I did a whole lot of this kind of repetition and ended up creating more problems than I got rid of. …
I, the one, who is very sensitive.
I am the worst human being on the planet. They hate me. That’s it, I have ruined my relationships forever. I will never be forgiven. Why would they? What I did, whatever it was, was unforgivable. I feel guilty for things going wrong. I can feel their pain in my own chest. I am so heavy with this burden. Nothing can improve this.. Might as well leave hope.
Have you ever felt like you can't chill with certain people because they somehow drain your energy?
Have you ever felt overwhelming emotions out of the bloom? …
I think people who can play a musical instrument, or can sing and dance, are extremely attractive.
Every single time I’ve learned that a person can sing, or play a musical instrument really well, ir groove to the beats of the song in the background with a droolworthy ease, I’ve almost always developed a crush on them.
And I’ve always requested them to play something or sing when I meet them.
I wrote this to pen my running thoughts on music today.
I instantly develop a liking towards people with similar taste in music as mine.
When I was younger, I attended quite a few concerts. I do not know really, why I don't do that anymore.
My favorite part of concerts was when the band plays a song everyone knows, so everyone sings along, all out of tune.
But then the singer stops singing the words to the music and you see the smiles on the band members' faces because they know that people care about their music and that is one of the most beautiful things to see! …