Making a Hobby Out of Getting Rid of Shit
Tidying up is hard. Sometimes stuff sits in your closet for so long that the piles become a part of your peripheral, and you don’t even notice they’re there anymore. What if you need that rusty pair of pliers? What about the abandoned buttons, traveling like nomads amongst coins and bobby pins, found in your old jacket’s pockets? I’ll probably, definitely sew them onto that pair of tattered jeans at the bottom of my storage bin… right?
If, like me, you’ve been on a cleaning frenzy lately, it’s likely you’ve read (or at least heard of) The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. She tackles the idea of organizing, keeping, and discarding things with one simple rule of thumb: Does the object spark joy?
Seriously, it’s that easy. If the thing makes you happy then you keep that thing. If the thing has served its purpose in already making you happy at one point in time, you thank the thing for the joy it sparked and move on. What about the things that don’t spark joy at all? There’s no reason to hold onto things that no longer (or ever did) serve their purpose to make us happy. Why didn’t anyone think of this sooner?
Before reading, I had applied a similar approach when I decided to move to across the country, because like KonMari, I had to. Where the KonMari method limits us to the question “Does this item spark joy?”, I was limited in other ways. I was forced to consider “Will this fit in my car? Is this thing necessary?” It’s surprising that most of the stuff I thought I “needed”, I really didn’t.
But, this process was made even more difficult in the face of grief. Not only did I sift through junk with a 3 year and 4+ roommate tenure, I was also dumped with all of my Dad’s stuff while downsizing my childhood home. And let me tell you, anyone who has ever had to sort through the things their deceased loved ones touched or cherished can understand how monumental of a task this is.
I remember laying everything out in my dining room. Every book, CD, elementary school report card, vase, dish, record, piece of clothing, bike accessory, kitchen item, candle. My roommates can attest to this: towards the end, our house resembled an Amazon warehouse, and I had become, if I wasn’t already, a crazed person. I found myself obsessed with purging, packing little by little into boxes, sifting through carefully, thinking “sure this will fit”; “half of the books I own shouldn’t be too heavy”; “I’ll definitely need a salad spinner.”
Of course, this happened in waves. I pretty much always had boxes for my friends to go through when they came over. I started blasting co-workers, social media and Craigslist, even hollering at neighbors from the street to come take my stuff. Free piles were weekly if not daily occurrences, taking things out more often than I took out my trash. I also came to know Tonto, a Goodwill worker, fairly well. But the more I went through, the more I realized I STILL had too much stuff. This went on until the day that I left Maryland, abandoning wooden spoons and spatulas on my mother’s front lawn.
With that being said, sure, there were things that I needed to replace when I moved out here. A bed, a dresser, a desk, a chair… basic furniture that you don’t really expect to take with you when making such an ambitious move. But my kitchenware, clothing, and knick knacks didn’t need any replacing. I already owned things that were special to me: two pots my mom had in her first apartment, a vintage oven mitt that I found on my 23rd birthday, my dad’s hunting knife, to name a few.
Now that I’m moving in with my partner, naturally we’re going through a lot of…stuff. This time, though, I have some experience under my belt. I highly recommend checking out The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, especially if you’re looking to create space in your life. But here are a couple key tips about tidying up that I’ve gathered from my own experience, as well:
1. IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE READY TO LET GO
If you are grieving (a loved one, a relationship, a past life), it’s likely you aren’t in the right mindset to make big decisions about what to get rid of quite yet. This is okay. Don’t get rid of things because you feel that you have to, or because they are negative reminders of what was. That could very likely change in six months. In the midst of my own grief, I don’t necessarily regret getting rid of what I did, but I do wish I had given myself more time to decide to get rid of it. Go easy, take it in waves, and don’t make impulsive emotional decisions.
2. SELL, SELL, SELL
I wish I had more yard sales. Now when I go through the things I’m ready to purge, I take that stuff straight to consignment or eBay. I don’t even care about the cash: I’m all about that store credit, which certainly helps when I find more quality, unique items to replace the things I’m getting rid of.
3. CLOTHING SWAPS
This was a regular occurrence back east that I wish I could find more of in my current city, so I put one together myself a few weeks ago. I invited friends who brought their own stuff, and some who didn’t bring anything at all. After making careful decisions about each and every item, as well as attempting to sell it for store credit, this was my last resort. The best part? It’s free!
What are some of your favorite methods for tidying up? How do you create space in your life?
