For the Better?

Transitional Scene

At the beginning of what I thought was going to be my greatest year of middle school, my parents announced to me that they were separating. Things were not “working out” and instead of giving up they were going seek time apart. As an eighth grader, I was well aware that the tensions in the house had been high lately and found this news to be a good thing for the whole family. I remember loving the dynamics of our little family of three. Looking back on it now, I can barely remember even living together: what our days consisted of.

I came home from school one day and as I got off the bus I remember noticing that both cars were in the driveway. This always meant that I was in trouble, if Mom and Dad were both home before I was. I walked in and sat my backpack down at the kitchen counter waiting for my mom to start drilling me about something bad I must’ve done that had slipped my mind. Instead, when I walked in, she went to their room to get my dad and they both came out looking rather nervous.

They sat me down at the kitchen counter and explained to me that things really weren’t working this time. The time apart, back and forth between houses, was not enough to fix the situation. They told me they would be getting a divorce. Up until that moment I saw our family as almost unbreakable. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t love each other enough to work through whatever was happening between them that I couldn’t see.

I didn’t say anything for a while. After I had collected my thoughts and my mom had stopped crying, I stood up and said I was going to the park. They half-pleaded with me to stay but I didn’t care. It was the first warranted refusal I had made adolescent and to be honest it felt pretty liberating. I rode my bike to the park a few streets over and texted one of my best friends to meet me there. Brendan came immediately after I explained what had happened. His parents had just gone through their divorce and it wasn’t pretty. We sat on the swings and stared at the sand until he made me feel alright and assured me that life would go on.

This was one of the biggest defining moments of my life because after that conversation came a whole new world of meeting my mother’s Saturday night dates and scheduling times to see my dad at wherever he was staying that week. Eventually he decided he had to move away for work reasons and it has honestly been the hardest thing I have ever been through. I struggled with depression during the divorce and it still makes me sick thinking about it today, five years later. Breaking up a family is completely and absolutely life changing. I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for my parents’ decision, but who’s to say if that’s a good thing or a bad thing?

I wish someone had said to me back then in the eighth grade that everything was going to turn out as it has right now. I have a great life, surrounded by great friends and an amazing education presented to me, which I am privileged enough to pursue. I have two amazing parents whom both still love me with all their heart which some kids aren’t so lucky to have after a divorce. I have my experiences that I can share with anyone who needs to hear them. I am happy today, my parents are happy today, and we owe it to all the struggles endured caused by this “transition”.