#6 Turning the Page on the “I Win, You Lose” Approach to Business
Go to any brick-and-mortar bookstore (if they still exist in your city ;-) and take a look at the section containing business and management books. Yes, you will see your standard business biographies of absolute legends like Richard Branson and Warren Buffett. But beyond that, it is all too common to see books that treat business as if you need to sharpen your ax and destroy the enemy on the battlefield. Authors aren’t afraid to drop references to Sun Tzu or Carl Von Clausewitz in describing how you need to be ruthless and dominate your enemy to obtain business success.
Granted, the business world has become more competitive these days. The rise of disruptive technologies and increasing globalization make the sport of business much more intense. Because of this, it is all too easy to take an aggressive, almost “zero sum-like” approach. We think, “Someone must lose in order for me to win,” or “I have to keep score so that my colleague repays my favor down the road.” While it may be easy to adopt this attitude toward competitors, it is just as easy to apply it to interactions with our colleagues.
Some business leaders have succeeded with this approach (look at Larry Ellison). Nonetheless, this “take no prisoners” approach can impose massive costs. It can alienate (or even sever relationships with) your colleagues, partners and suppliers. It may lead you down some legally treacherous paths. This attitude can even spill over into your personal life. And even if you do achieve all of your personal business goals, you may find that those goals were actually less important than your relationships with others. Wealth on paper does not necessarily lead to internal happiness.
Luckily, you can avoid this depressing future. One of the better ways to approach business is to adopt the values that you find in marriage. Let’s face it: if you started a startup with some co-founders, you’re already in a marriage (whether you realize it or not). But even if you don’t have co-founders, taking this “marriage first” rather than “fire and brimstone” approach leads to more happiness and success in the run.
To adopt this marriage perspective, there are several things you can start doing today. Don’t keep score when interacting with co-founders, colleagues, and even competitors. Embrace forgiveness (we all make mistakes). Thank your colleagues for all of their hard work. Even if you don’t like your competitors on a personal level, afford them the requisite respect. These are little things, but they can go a long way.
To be clear, this doesn’t mean that you need to remove all of your competitive juices. Warren Buffett, for instance, adopts this mentality, but is known to be a fierce negotiator when he’s contemplating a deal. But by adopting this marriage approach in your business life and career, you’ll achieve your ideal vision of “professional success.”
Ultimately, there’s a reason that Warren Buffett tap dances to work every day. Follow this approach and you will see why.
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Do stuff that matters.
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Always ;-)
