April Fool!

Yes it’s today, but I doubt any jokes would fly or be accommodated by the larger crop of earthlings. Most of us are scared about the Corona virus or about the uncertainty it’s brought to everyday life. No one and nothing is secure, large businesses are loosing stock prices, staff and customers every second, small businesses are loosing much more, pretty much the whole business itself, and as for individuals, we might all be loosing our minds!!!

Today, I’ve got a lot to worry about, but before that, let me say; for every worry and anxiety I might have, regardless of the source or cause, worrying can’t fix or solve a thing! Affirmative action dictates the progress of men and has from the very beginning. So this article is me dumping my worry, and letting it go so I can face affirmative action and deal with it. Being an architect right now for starts isn’t much of a job, and really, if you’re not into healthcare, financial systems or food and beverage, you might feel that way too! That’s not surprising considering the most of us are at home and locked up trying to either wait for the virus to fade away or a cure/vaccine to hit the markets, and that’s an unending long wait if you ask me. I’ve had to rethink the whole profession and wonder what applications to public health I could participate in to remain relevant especially in these gloomy times and I had come up with quite a few. Sadly, as with all great ideas like mine, an “enabler” would be hard to seek out but it’s worth the try at the moment. So here’s how I’m making the best of that, I’m back online learning new software! Realizing that this is some sort of forced leave from work, and I’d have a chunk of time to spare, picking up new software and ripping it apart won’t be a bad idea. After going through a whole lot online I found a site called domestika that offers design classes via video modules , read the reviews and there! I paid for 3 courses based on the new Adobe CC suite. Perfect right? Till I start the first class and realize it’s in Spanish! Yes you heard me right, Spanish!!! Guess whose learning with subtitles!!! Lmao!!! I didnt waste a second throwing mad tantrums about that (mentally I did maybe), but straight I went and I’m halfway through the first of the 3. So it’s break time and I’m sober reflecting, what if I always had the energy to make it to affirmative action? Remember I spoke about having a multitude of worries? Here’s a recap to getting here.

My last “out of base” project was a lounge in lagos and that didn’t end too well. I was set to clean out 4 million in consulting charges from 2 months of work, fair enough it’s less than the usual goal but it was worth the name stamp and I really didn’t have much doing anyway to say no. Took the job and when we got to the 90 percent mark, I get a call asking for an assessment meeting and that meeting ends with me locked up and having a signed statement over my head that I’m to refund 15 million back! Don’t even ask how it got to that, cos I’m still sort of in shock about that too. The whole contract was renegotiated downwards at that meeting, a meeting attended by just me and the 3 project owners. Well, after 3 nights locked up in a cell and parting with a large chunk of cash, I was on my way home, and furious! Barely 3 weeks later robbers showed up at the house and cleaned out all the gadgets they could take save the TV and game console! All that work, all the files, from the last 3 years, all gone! And my blood pressure was off the charts!!! While this was all going on, my girl decided to call it quits!!! Short black boy was ready not just for corona but the grave. This is unbelievable!!!

But then here I am learning stuff in Spanish, like nothing happened and I’m good. Here’s why. After watching tv for a few days, and watching an enemy we cannot see or feel coming take out so much talent in a short period of time, I realized all that I thought I had lost was nothing. Property can be bought again, debts eventually will be paid, so those weren’t the focus, my focus was the love I lost. I was careful to not mention all this so she wouldn’t feel I was emotionally blackmailing her to understand but yes! I was a sad pressured chap within, and I knew I wasn’t doing good inside and I didn’t want her to see me broken so I tried to be firm and straight, and firm and straight broke her and broke her good. Now I wish I had cried in front of her and she understood I was weak and human and didn’t really have a handle on all these but it wouldn’t have changed a thing, probably made her add another item to the reasons why she’s jetting off. And in a record 9 days she left and moved on. Hey. I panicked and I panicked real good! And while I did the death toll from Corona climbed by the day! I was on two flights with 2 known cases. I haven’t said nothing, I locked up and counted the days. 14 days and I added 3 more to be sure. Yup I’m still here without even a slight cough to mark me as positive. It was at this point I knew I had to stop. I could’ve been down, sick or dead, but here I am. I needed to keep moving. Affirmative action.

So it’s another round of 14 days locked in alone (this time government imposed). I’ve exited social networks and apps to focus on me and a path going forward and it seems nothing will stop me this time (for real, classes in Spanish didn’t!), so yeah, local man forges ahead. My faith in an unknown future has found peace, and God will restore everything the cankerworm ate away. I’ve prayed the anxiety away and I found a moment to tell my girl I love her and I’m sorry. Owning up to that one feeling that I hadn’t told her meant everything to me. It was very late, and she wouldn’t have none of it, so I left it there and kept moving. I couldn’t sit wishing I hadn’t been a fool about the only relationship worth spending time on other than my relationship with God. I allowed so much pressure push us apart and cause fights that never should have existed. She will still have my heart for a long time to come. In all this I found God again, and God isn’t done with me, I might’ve lost so much, but I’m glad I’ve not lost me.

April fool!

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