I Went A Day Without The Internet And This Is My Experience

Dude, what? Isn’t that your day job? Why would you do that?

Well the answer is that I have parallel lives my friend — one of which you just cannot take away from me.

“Bro, what’re you playin’ at, this shit’s going on the internet too, ain’t it?”

My hands have never been this accessible to the world.

As a wise man or woman (I know you’re onto me internet feminists) once said, the grass is greener on the other side — you just gotta take your eyes off that god damn cell phone.

‘Jio’ apni zindagi, literally.

Well here are a few points of note that I noticed while living a life outside of the World Wide Web.

  1. There are more interesting faces out there than on Facebook. There are a lot fewer people getting married and it seems a lot less depressing.
  2. You can share an opinion with somebody with a smile and have a warmer, healthier & intuitive response rather than leaving a faceless comment to their insecure imagination just to have them snide back.
  3. Birds were chirping. Remember those?
  4. Suddenly, 24 hours seemed more than enough in a city that otherwise never sleeps.
  5. I counted the tiles in the bathroom while taking a shit to pass the time. Made me miss the 90s.
    But then it hit me…
  6. I can’t stalk my ex anymore. I have no idea what she’s upto and it’s killing me.
  7. I can’t fix things myself anymore because there are no DIY videos.
  8. I’m forced to listen to goddamn masala ads on the radio which sound like something you’d expect to hear in a local dance bar, because my car stereo just has an aux jack, I don’t have purchased music or any streaming service.
  9. I thought I’d pass some time by catching up with a movie. I had to stand at the queue to buy my ticket but I was the only one there — just in time to grab a cozy seat right up front where I get a good view of the actor’s crotch. Fuck yeah.
  10. I can’t get validation anymore, dear god what have I done.

Fuck this, Ima post this on the internet right now.

Like I said, I have parallel lives my friend — one of which you just can’t take away from me.