3 Strategies to be Unoffendable

A lot of people out there think that being offended is contingent on other people’s words.

In some part, there is truth to this. If no one was out to get you or didn’t benefit from being nasty, then yeah. No one would be offended.

But at the same time, the universe wouldn’t exist as it is. Can you even imagine such a world, with nobody having a single bad bone in their body? I sure can’t.

It should be obvious to most of us that censoring other people’s language is not a sustainable solution. That means we must hold that burden.

Strategy 1: Understand Good and Bad Criticism

One of the many strategies people use to shake the feeling of being offended is to understand what criticism is useful.

Not everything that comes flying in our face is nasty. Sometimes, valid criticism can help us grow.

People walk around with a perpetual blind spot: themselves. Likewise, not everything that is said about us is true or valuable. At times, people simply want to hurt each other.

We can learn from these experiences. I personally learned this from the Stoics. Here, some timeless words from Marcus Aurelius:

“It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”

A good thing to remember when people are being nasty. But what about the flip side, where the criticism might be true?

Then the criticism should be kept in mind. If you have something to improve on, then you owe it to yourself to do so.

Being unoffendable is not a matter of shutting yourself off from the world, neither is it soaking in every bit of information. It’s about having a filter on at all times, and knowing what is worth engaging and what isn’t.

Strategy 2: Separating Yourself From the Mob

Another part of being unoffendable is recognizing your sovereignty as an individual.

Often, people seek approval from some part of the social mob. Coworkers, social media, their local communities.

Friends and family.

We make decisions based on the influence other people exude on us. At times, we say things we don’t really mean. And other times, we take offense to things that we don’t really care about at all.

We don’t need to look further than pop culture for a timeless phrase that characterizes this perfectly:

“Your boos mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer.”

— Rick Sanchez

Strategy 3: Be Unwilling to Outsource Your Peace

A lot of people have a peace of mind that is entirely dependent on external circumstances.

Their job, their finances, their family, their love life. People often believe that their peace comes from all of their criteria being met to a satisfactory level.

Quite frankly, it’s not a reliable or sustainable mindset. Being able to maintain your peace within yourself is a vital skill.

Marcus Aurelius touches upon something that must’ve bothered him a lot: anxiety. When managing the affairs of an entire empire, it must’ve been a frequent problem for him.

“Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.”

To be offended is to outsource our peace. We have an inner citadel that we can retreat to. Our minds are both the best tool and shelter we have. If we choose to be offended, we are forfeiting the peace of mind that we have tried hard to cultivate.

However, this is not an excuse for complacency.

Instead, it’s understanding that every day, you have the right to improve yourself and change in the way you desire. And nobody can take that away from you with their words.

Thank you for reading. If you would like to see similar content, please check out my other articles or consider giving me a follow. Anything helps and I would appreciate it immensely.