Sometimes I think, what if I miss something. I worry about this. What if he sends me a coded English message, and I miss it? I would have gotten the bum pat, but would I get a different one? Would it make me feel less English? Would it make him think I might miss one in the future, and not send another? I wouldn’t want to miss it, because that would expose me three times over: that I didn’t catch it, or that I didn’t care, or that I didn’t get to connect with him over it. Cultural references are actually so heavy with emotion now, because of time, because of distance and kinship across continents. What if I forget that tune to that advert? Will he still think I’m in the same boat? What if I forgot the punchline? Am I a fraud here, or a fraud there, or both?

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    Emily Gardner Xu Hall

    Written by

    actor, composer, writer. http://www.emilygardnerhall.com