Unnatural Rhythms

I get the sense that sending an email at 4:56am is generally a bad look. It’s 4:57 now and my mind is alive with thoughts, ideas, plans, and reckless motivation. I rarely feel this way during the day. I struggle to wake up, and then go to work. I complete various tasks by various deadlines in a moving, thinking, but neutral state.

It’s been a while since I woke up in the middle of the night with the inexplicable need to be awake. There’s thinking to be done, no it can’t be put off until the morning. In the morning you don’t care that much. At work the cold lighting and white furniture lull you into common sense. You forget the perils of common sense.

When I wake up and realize I’m dealing with something bigger than myself, an idea with no roadmap, uncharted territory outside my current pay grade — I begin to panic. I still feel panic as the next steps become clear, while I write this and the sun comes up. Note to self: Don’t forget to send that email in a few hours.