Scott Christian
Sep 7, 2018 · 1 min read

“ You tried, I think.”

This can be incredibly hurtful to say to someone after sex and I don’t believe you aren’t capable of realizing that on your own. You were probably described as cold specifically because of this remark. Right after sex is kind of a sensitive time to be casting aspersions.

I agree with a lot of what you’ve said in this article, but I feel that men are just as much if not more a victim of this societal perception (transactional sex). Most of the women I’ve been with have always done a much smaller share of the work (often none), but the blame has always fallen squarely on my own shoulders and every time they were sure to make me fully aware of it if they didn’t reach the goal line. It’s slowly sucked all the fun out of sex and made it feel more like a job than an enjoyable experience.

It’s such a hard subject to broach with someone you care about. Especially with all the societal pressures you mention here. I love being a part of the process, but I hate feeling like the fall guy.