Book 1 — August 30, 2010 11:33 PM

Today I begin an experiment with myself: To document every day until I turn 30. This is so I can see how I am thinking [and] to finally use these notebooks [Moleskine]. I am currently at a truck stop ( Petro / Wheeler Ridge, CA) and so fucking tired. I stayed up waaaay too late last night into the early morning hours playing a stupid game on my iPod Touch. Why? I don’t know and I paid dearly for that. I think I cursed more people / places / things / myself more than I can imagine. I feel so terrible. I almost cried this morning too because I thought I heard I was fired, but no, I just can’t hear / understand. Stupid. I am 29 (twenty-nine) and I was almost bawling like a child. What is wrong with me? This is why I started this. Hopefully these won’t be too long but I do intend to write what I think I should mainly to see what I can do. My eyes are half open as I write this. I will say this, I don’t feel old, I still [feel] like a little kid every day. Just so immature, especially today. It also happened today was a Monday and that was definitely felt too. Just so fucking stupid. I hope I will be able to process my next steps of what I should be do with my life too. (As an aside, this is my first journal, but this is going to be written in EVERYDAY.) I hope I don’t run out of room before I have to purchase another one. Anyway, bedtime!

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