THE TRUMP DIARIES: (3/16/17) 2042, American History 101

Q. When Herr Trump lost his case before the Supreme Court to ban entry into the United States of individuals from seven predominantly Muslim nations, why did he react by trying to cut off funds to numerous government agencies, such as “Meals on Wheels?”

A. The two actions were and seemed at the time to be unrelated, but historians have since delved into the matter and, as we know, the, “If I don’t get to be pitcher, it’s my ball and I’m going home,” theory helps to explain it. Herr Trump seemed then to think that if he made threats that people would cave in.

Q. When the war started with North Korea, why didn’t Herr Trump tell the American public? How did he think he could keep that a secret?

A. You have to remember that the war took place after Herr Trump had banned media from press conferences, and made “speading fake news” on the Internet a crime. People had access to foreign media, but it was widely discredited. Those who believed the war news were called unpatriotic, and so on.

Q. So how with the destruction of the public sector, the transfer of wealth into the hands of Herr Trump’s friends, the discreding of media, and the Three Year War, did he finally lose power?

A. Herr Trump‘s actions had a strange effect: He politicized more people than ever before, and united factions that previously had not seen what they had in common. With the election results in 2018, he was impeached. We all know about the sentencing and exile.

Q. Was Herr Trump the worst President in U.S. history?

A. No, that distinction belongs to President Pence. But fortunately, he, too, was impeached and sent to live in an undisclosed site.