A Moment of Weakness

I remember someone once telling me that the hardest times in your life will make you stronger when you come up on the other side. It will mold you, it will equip you with what you need to take on the rest of your life. I hope they are right in these current times of feeling lost, I hope I come up on the other side with tools that will help me avoid being lost in the future.

I am at this point where I am 29 years old, and I feel that I have lost complete control of my life. My career isn’t really advancing as quickly as I would like. Then there are moments in my career that make me question every choice I have made in my life. I spend days inside not knowing what I should do next and revert to my methods of escapism such as Netflix binging, or video games.

I like to pretend things are alright, you know, put positive vibes into the universe and positive things will happen to you. However as days go by it’s becoming increasingly more difficult as I watch the world and everyone around me pass by.

I don’t really know what my purpose is in this word vomit of a blog that I am creating today. I just needed a space to be vulnerable I suppose, a space where I don’t have to tell someone “I’m doing ok” Just so they don’t worry about me. I know eventually things will look up like they always do, but right now, it’s scary. The bills don’t stop when you’re unemployed. It would be swell if they did though, wouldn’t it?

I know that I am not where I wanted to be in life by now. My goals keep changing, my deadlines keep getting pushed back. Hopefully soon I’ll find a place in this world where I am at least comfortable. For now I will keep trucking along and trying to spread some light in this world and make my impact. I apologize if this blog is all over the place, or doesn’t really make sense. I didn’t really feel like editing my thoughts, I wanted to write the out as the came up. My raw, real feelings. I think there is too much editing in this world. People only show their best sides in their online presence. Truth is everyone has bad sides as well. Everyone has failures, everyone has moments of weakness.

This is a time in my life where I am choosing to show my moment of weakness. Thank you for letting be vulnerable.

-SO

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