a dissection of the soulmate

its inconceivable that everybody only has one soulmate. with over 7 billion people living on this planet, the odds are just too thin. for those who remain unconvinced, i’ve broken out this assertion into three factors of why more than one soulmate could exist for each of us:

  • the chemistry spectrum
  • the “world away” factor
  • timing

the chemistry spectrum

today you meet guy/girl x, and after speaking and connecting for a bit, you feel something. some butterflies, some attraction, some potential room for emotional investment. let’s say you can calibrate that feeling as a 6/10 on your personal “chemistry scale.” tomorrow you meet guy/girl y and you feel something a bit more. maybe a 6.5/10. extrapolate these feelings to the higher end of the scale: maybe you connect with one person at a “9.5” and another as “9.6.” this is interesting, because it begs the question of what is considered a “soulmate” in terms of chemistry. that is a complete discussion within itself, but since everything operates on some sort of spectrum, especially the levels of chemistry between two people, who is to say a “9.5” isn’t considered a soulmate while a “9.6” is? we can’t know until we have had multiple experiences to inform this opinion, but assuming that the definition of a soulmate is based on the levels of chemistry we share with others, it is realistic to believe that we can have multiple soulmates. regardless, we may never even meet them. this brings me to the next component: distance, or the “world away factor.”

the world away factor

you live in los angeles, california. you love it there. you have an amazing job, amazing friends, and there’s beautiful people. why would you ever leave? but given that the population of LA county is ~4 million, you are precluding yourself from meeting the rest of the 6,996,000,000 people on the planet. and since we’ve now identified the “chemistry factor,” it is once again plausible that one of the 6,996,000,000 people we haven’t met (because we love LA so much and never envision leaving) could be a soulmate. a talented painter from sao paulo. a beautiful dancer from beijing. an aspiring musician in berlin. you may never meet, and that’s fine. but the idea that there exists more than one potential soulmate, living somewhere thousands of miles away, is intoxicating. however, the unfortunate element of distance often goes hand and hand with its ugly cousin that we will all face in one way or another — timing.

timing

fucking timing. this is the last component that can deter us from ever meeting somebody who may be perfect for us. she picked her career, you picked yours. they picked the crunchy university in calibroOoOo and you went to an engineering-heavy school on the east coast. whether it is our choice or not, the stars often don’t align in regards to timing. you may have moved to a new city right when a potential soulmate was moving out. you may never experience “what could have been” with your high school sweetheart because you simply met too early. there are a magnitude of timing issues out there that can deter us from meeting that special someone; but the silver lining is that it also illuminates the existence of the sheer number of soulmates and interesting interactions awaiting us.

+++++

so have hope. maybe your previous relationship didn’t work out for whatever reason. I don’t mean to discount the pain and repair that goes into a breakup, but it is encouraging to know that there are many potential lovers out there. we can restrict ourselves because we “must live in LA” or “have to work in this industry,” and that’s our own choice. but let’s not forget the fact that the fabric of human connection and love can be extended far and wide. and that’s what’s most important. so have hope.


Originally published at scottsyoung.com on April 24, 2015.

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