The End… for now.

Oh, Grumbs.

Isn’t this about the fourth or fifth time you’ve announced something like this? Don’t let me stop you getting it off your chest, but you’re going round in circles. You just go SUPER HYPE > ALL DA STREAMS > 1.5 hour stream > huge depressive funk > stream hiatus > delete it all, pretend it never happened > SUPER HYPE > ALL DA STREAMS > repeat ad nauseam.

So a bit of ‘Mom Mode’ is coming, cos I just wanna kick your butt right now. You’re better than this. You have the potential to be more than this cycle of gloom you’ve put yourself into. It’s not the depression. Depression sucks but we live with shit like this, and we deal. Only YOU can kick your own ass here. So here’s some tough love for ya (I don’t believe in patting people on the head, it does nothing but harm):

If you want to quit, then quit. Just do it. Delete your Twitch, and quit.

If you don’t ACTUALLY want to quit? Be realistic. You’re a small channel, 600+ followers. On average a view count of 5–10 viewers is the absolute most you should expect, save for a big raid or host. You achieve that most of the time, so as far as numbers go you have absolutely nothing to worry about!

That being said, stop looking at the numbers (it’s not hard, just close your dashboard), avoid the chatter list (again, just focus on chat), and just get on with doing what you do. I think you expect too much. You think rebranding and making nice intros and such will just draw people in. It won’t, cos the internet doesn’t work like that. Some people get lucky, some are smart, some are both. I’ve streamed probably the same amount as you since 2015, and my stream is small. Today I had 2 viewers for over two hours, way below what I should’ve had. But *shrug* I didn’t let it destroy me from the inside out. You need to learn that social media doesn’t define your self worth.

Charity events, streamathons, special events and such are useless for a small channel. Incentives only matter if you have the community to spark up a bandwagon that’s going to get the ball rolling good and proper. 99% of us are just not at that stage yet. Some may never be. We’re all needle in the haystack until someone big or important happens to find us.

Okay, Mom Mode over. You got this; don’t take what I say as mean, or bullying. We’ve had oodles of conversations about this and you are destroying yourself going round and round in circles. I know it’s a hard habit to break, cos there is a weird comfort in wallowing. But if you want to get better, BE better. Take a step back, assess, go from there.

And ask yourself: do I need to write 50 angry tweets about it? ;) Have a good weekend x

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