Saying Yes to Drugs: IVF Begins

Ashley Morris
Aug 24, 2017 · 1 min read

Day 0, aka Drug Day.

(Picture Chip Gaines yelling “DEMO DAY!”)

Today my doctor gave me my IVF calendar and my list of drugs.

If you think IVF is a walk in the park, please feast your eyes on the (very) long list of prescriptions that will arrive in my mailbox shortly. I literally have no idea what half this shit is, so my next few days will be spent on Google and WebMD, stressing myself into oblivion.

Gonal F 450 IU with Injector: This is suspiciously close to “gonads.” My inner 10 year old boy is giggling.

Menopur, 30 Vials: This sounds like Lilith Fair band name

Cetrotide Injection: Does anyone else think of “hot beef injection” when this word is used? Pause for Breakfast Club clip.


Ovidrel: Wasn’t this the cat on the Smurfs?

Lupron Trigger: A ship from Star Wars?

Dexamethasone: I don’t know what this is, but I think I took one in college

Azithromyacin: I know this one!

Synera Patch: 10 of them with 5 refills, oooohhh

Ultram tabs: Includes the note “4–6 hours for pain” … that sounds fun

Androderm 4mg patch: Five of these bad boys

Sharps Container: Also known as the BOGO card at the Sizzler.

I don’t know either.
)
Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade