The Inexplicable Logic of My Life

Book Review

Overall Rating: 3.5/5, Genre: Fiction, Young-Adult, Contemporary
Author: Benjamin Alire Saenz (@benjamin.alire.saenz)

I have read and loved the Aristotle and Dante series of books by Benjamin Alire Sáenz, an author who stays in El Paso and his stories are a tribute to the region that he calls home. The way he treats his characters is inspirational like he has spent a lifetime with them. In this book too, I felt the same magic. Be it Salvador or Sam or Fito, Vicente or Marcos, Mima, or any of the supporting characters from their families, they all feel like a reflection of actual lives lived. Benjamin Alire Sáenz is a keen observer of human behavior, an excellent writer, and sensitive in his portrayal of characters — queer or otherwise. His ability to connect with the reader is unparalleled and his stories are like a love letter from him to us all.

At around four hundred and fifty pages though, one thing that did not work for me is that the book reads a tad bit sluggish. While it helps develop the depth in some characters, I found quite a bit of it repetitive. I started to lose interest somewhere around then. I am glad I read the book, because the second half, especially after Marcos’ and Fito’s entry into the world of Sam and Sally, is extremely well written. Even though the story could have been told in a lesser number of pages, nonetheless it tugged heavily on my heartstrings. I remember tearing up several times, laughing out loud at the jokes, and brooding about life in general as I waltzed through the last hundred pages.

Letting ourselves be loved is sometimes hard, especially when we can not get ourselves to love who we are. Grief or loneliness or anxiety can play tricks on our minds. But we all need to learn how to “whistle in the dark”.

Some memorable quotes from the book:

“Life can be hard. I know how hard it can be.”
And then she said, “Déjate querer.”
Let yourself be loved.”

“The thing about tears is that they can be as quiet as a cloud floating across the desert sky.”

“The world did have too many words. The sound of the rain was all we needed.”

“It wasn’t always going to be morning, and darkness would come around again. The sun would rise, and then the sun would set. And there you were in the darkness again. If you didn’t whistle, the quiet and the dark would swallow you up. The thing is, I didn’t know how to whistle. I guessed I was going to have to learn.”

“Grief is a terrible and beautiful thing.”
“I don’t think it’s so beautiful.”
“The hurt means you loved someone. That you really loved someone.”

“Anger is an emotion. But there’s always something behind anger. Something stronger. You know what that is?”
“Is that a trick question?”
“It comes from fear, son. That’s where it comes from. All you have to do is figure out what you’re afraid of.”
Oh, I thought. Is that all?”

“Highways are nice and paved, and they have signs telling you which way to go. Life isn’t like that at all.”