Her Resolve & His Perception
She doesn’t want to be loved, she is convinced that she doesn’t deserve any. You try to convince her otherwise and she just retaliates and shows her bad side. This portrayal, she believes, will push away the people who want to show love and affection to her. What she fails to see is that while this may scare off most, it will not deter all.
She strives for perfection and stringent self-discipline but no one here is perfect. She focuses on her flaws rather than her perfections. And all because of one past mistake. She clings on to the past and hopes for a non-existent future. A future which if it were to exist would be against her ideals. A future which her friends wish were true and pray for a miracle, because it will need one.
She taught her friends to not be judgmental but cannot help but judge herself. Yet again for that one mistake. A mistake which pushed her past to move on to a future without her, a supposedly better future.
She still awaits, with the hope that her past will return. She is determined to wait it out till the dreaded yet celebratory bell rings. She doesn’t realize that mind will keep latching on to hope always. She is strong enough to veer away from the past and is standing on the edge. All she has to do is take the leap of faith and see how she soars high in the sky.
She fears that her wings may not be strong for the flight and she might come down crashing. In such an event, she doesn’t want her friends to see her crash to preserve her image. But she fails to comprehend that friends do not judge her image. All they care is if she is ready for the next flight.
She claims that she has lot more bad attributes in her character such as rudeness, vindictiveness and arrogance.
She portrays her bad side to prevent people from getting hurt. Hence, she cares. Her strive for perfection pushes her to improve and achieve her long-forgotten dreams. Hence, she is driven and ambitious. She has shaped the characters of many and has the knowledge to transform many more. Hence, she has potential to educate others and elevate their mind. She accepts her mistakes and does penance. Hence, she is understanding. She doesn’t trust easily and refrains from asking for help. Hence, she is self-made and independent.
And you still ask why he loves her..!!