I don’t like the attention.
Maybe I am ignorant. But I never thought I would get this much attention as a Westerner in Indonesia. Okay, I’ll stop being “politically correct.” Being a young, white girl in Indonesia. Jakarta specifically. The nation’s humongous capital.
I’ve been to Thailand and to Laos and to Cambodia and so on. Sure, a picture here and there was not unusual. But in Jakarta, unless I stay indoors, it’s almost a daily occurrence.
At first it didn’t really bother me. But after the fiftieth time a person asks to “make a photo” with you, it gets…. Well, annoying.
Perhaps even worse are the kids who follow me down the street. It’s not that they’re annoying. I just fear one will get trampled by a car speeding by. Some of the kids who have lurked behind are young — like, five or six years old.
Maybe it’s my overprotective, American-based ideas of child rearing that instantly have me think, “Oh my God, why is this child in the street?!’’ Or, “Where are the parents?” Or the best, “I do not want to be liable for any injuries.”
I laugh because in the US everyone is sue happy. And truthfully, I’m not sure if there’s anything I could do in Jakarta that would result in me be sued. Thrown in jail, sure. But sued? I’m not too sure.
In any event, I have travelled or lived in 11 Asian countries. Some of the most attention I have ever received has been in Indonesia. The only exception may be parts of rural China and Inner Mongolia. Nonetheless, I am in the capital city of Indonesia. In fact, I am staying in Central Jakarta. It’s not like I am walking the dirt roads of a farming village.
All of this attention has actually led me to question things like: “What makes me look white?”
And I don’t mean the obvious thing— my skin color. I am referring to my physical features. I never gave much thought to my nose and the pronounced arch — a “Roman nose” as mother says. Or my high cheek bones. Or my blue eyes.
I guess growing up in the US, outside of Philly, I was exposed to a diverse population. Sure, some people are white and some are black and some are asian and what have you. But I never actually thought about physical traits that accompany those ethnicities. At least not in depth. Not like I have been thinking about my own lately.
Since being in Jakarta, I actually considered various ways to try to hide. Like, not stand out so much in public. Less children following me down the road to my home.
But I quickly realized that this dream was impossible. Of course, unless I went to extremes such as wearing a Burka or got plastic surgery. Otherwise, it would be really, really hard to hide in plain sight.
Easy things, like dying my hair dark and wearing brown contacts, wouldn’t even come close to achieving a concealed look. I still have this nose with a bump. I still have really big cheeks. And pale skin. Even if I did wear a Burka, I still have blue eyes! And, in the end, I bet the way I walk and my mannerisms would be a giveaway.
Sure, I thought about ways to mesh in with my surroundings. But I would never dye my hair or wear contacts for the sinlge purpose of downplaying my presence. To me that’s just… ridiculous.
Again, my American mentality kicks in: “We are all equal. God made us this way for reason. Being different is beautiful.”
And then tonight happened.
I walked home with a throng of junior high kids behind, giggling, saying the few words they knew in English —“Hello, Miss!”— along with a bunch of words I couldn’t understand in Bahasa. Some of the kids then began pointing to my nose, gesturing out the enlarged curve. Suddenly, all I wanted was to blend in.
But then I snapped out of it. Laughed with them. And pointed to my nose, too. And my eyes. And my skin. I showed them without speaking — “Yes, I am different from you!” They giggled. I giggled, too.
I continued to walk down the little road to where I stay. The gang continued to follow, murmuring in Bahasa. And then one of the older girls said aloud, in broken English, “He say you beautiful, Miss!”
So I looked back. I watched her point to one of the boys. I smiled and said “Thank you.”
