The 4 False Beliefs that Doomed Her Marriage

When young adults date, they often cling to romantic notions of possessive love and the myth of the special soulmate.

That’s not us.

We’ve examined our lives, our breakups, our infatuations, our marriages, and our divorces, and this process of self examination has given us the perspicacity to see that our old ideas about dating and romance are not just obsolete — they are false and dangerous.

One of the ways that mature adults (of any age) screen prospective romantic partners these days is to ask them about their previous (sometimes failed) relationships. The reasons that people give for the end of their last meaningful relationship provides terrific insight into the future of their next.

You can prompt some reflection in your latest romantic interest by asking them this question:

“What did you learn from your last meaningful relationship?”

Many of the answers you get will fall into one of these unpromising categories:

• Victim in a relationship drama triangle.
• Exaggerated sense of entitlement (as in, “I’m not going to settle,” or “I deserved better.”).
• Smug satisfaction of moral superiority.
• Apathetic facade (as in, “Don’t know,” or “Don’t…