I’m not so sure about the self celebration angle. Humans are social animals. We only become human by being protected by other humans for quite along time after birth. The self you refer to is most likely a fantasy largely brought on by the technology of reading. Before humans began to read in large numbers they conveyed their thoughts to one another through spoken language. People had not developed the skill to talk or think to themselves rather than to their peers. Why would they. Talking to oneself in an oral culture would be strange and perhaps dangerous. I suspect you are just lonely and perhaps hold yourself and your peers to a high standard based on ideas or characters that you have read about. Go out and just be a human. Talk it up with anyone and let them talk back. Have fun. Have a drink. Be silly maybe. Don’t overdo it. Think of what fun you had on a seesaw when you were a kid. You go up, they go down, nice and easy. It is very reasonable to fear being alone. I think you need a cuddle.